


Now Forget

by LGITB



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:28:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26909653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LGITB/pseuds/LGITB
Summary: Mostly Beatrice, but some Ava - processing trauma, letting go of control and the change in their lives following the flight in the Vatican and the revelations made.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 16
Kudos: 224





	1. Escape to the hills, lest you be swept away

Beatrice ran the Seville marathon once. A full, 42.2 kilometer run, inspired by reading about Sister Madonna Buder, an American Roman Catholic nun who participated in Ironman triathlons as a way to bring calmness into her life, and a way to tweak body, mind a soul. She liked the challenge of it, and the long 3 and 4 hour runs she got into, kilometers away from Cat's Cradle, brought the quiet and mindfulness she always sought. The race itself was almost an afterthought, such was her enjoyment of those practice runs.

Afterthought or not, it was indeed a physical challenge different than anything she has experienced before, and upon hitting the dreaded wall, that moment where her body simply ran out of energy, her legs turning into led. It was in those moments that she felt her training but mostly her faith, resolve and sheer stubbornness kicking though, not only carrying her across the finish line in Paseo de las Delicias, but also giving her the strength to increase her pace despite her legs and lungs screaming at her to stop.

It was only about an hour later, back at Cat's Cradle, sitting on her bed after being congratulated by her fellow Sister Warriors and earning a short 'Well Done Sister Beatrice' from Mother Superion, that she realized it was the first time her mind had quieted down. She didn't exchange words with anyone out on the course, solely focused on completing her run, and yet she suddenly felt as if she left an incredibly loud party or a room full of people who kept clamoring for her attention.

It was so quiet, so peaceful. Just like the moments after a fight ends and she deposits her weapons back into the armory, knowing she can switch back to being just a nun, putting aside the warrior for just a brief while - and all is well.

Sister Warrior Beatrice would give anything to have that peace and quiet she felt in her room, post run, now. She is as farthest from that feeling as she ever was, cramped into a 7 seater Landrover jeep - of all vehicles - that Camila hotwired off the streets in their haste to put distance between themselves and the horror they faced in the Vatican.

Camila is driving, all grim faced and focused. Not unlike the look she had on her face during their initial fight with that devil's spawn, a focused rage in her eyes as she kept shooting her arrows into Adriel. She sits in the seat next to her, and the car is silent. 

Ava has the middle bench all to herself, the sisters agreeing without really talking about it that she needs the physical space to heal quicker, recharge the halo but really, just to mentally collect herself. It was so easy to forget that it was just a couple of days ago their all-over-the-place, pun loving, messy eater, heart of a lion reborn leader, was a corpse, devoid of life following a life lived in a disabled, bed ridden, quadriplegic being.

Lilith and Mary took the back seat, each one staring pensively outside.

Lilith seemed calmed, and Beatrice couldn't tell if it was just a façade, a mask put on, or maybe with everything she went through in the last couple of days, she just developed an outlook of 'come hell or high water'. She already died, went to hell and back, found out the angel she was brought up to believe his halo she will carry and protect to death, is actually a lowlife thief from the neither world - really, what else could possibly the universe throw at her.

And Mary just raged. Quietly, without saying a word, but it was there, bubbling, ready to burst out. Beatrice knew it will happen sooner or later - but for now it was reined in, and despite her momentary madness in the piazza, where Vincent's betrayal and the grief over losing Shannon in such devious circumstances seemed to have jarred her into a suicidal move, saved just moments later by Lilith descending into the crowd and pulling her out, she seemed to be all checked in. For now.

Beatrice dared not take stock of herself. It was a luxury she really couldn't afford. Her only words to Camilla, after getting into the car, were instructions to get them out of the city.

They were driving on the Autostrade per l'italia, heading to Napoli and an unknown future.

"Where are we going?" Ava asked, her voice small.

"We cannot use any of the OCS safe houses" Mary added from her seat, finally shifting her eyes from the window and forward, tired look in her eyes. "And the son of a bitch knows all our history, and there's no question he will happily share it with his master" she spat out the word, "if he hasn't already".

"He doesn't know everything" Beatrice replied, sighing. "There are several locations the OCS nuns have kept in strict confidence. Each location is shared only to two people in the convent. The Mother, and one of the sisters. It is not shared with any of the.. "she hesitated for a second and continued. "Church supervisors and leaders".

"Men, you mean" Ava added, just to clarify for everyone.

"Men, yes" Beatrice agreed. "So who has that location from our convent?" Camilla asked. "Lilith?"

"Mother superion chose to give that location to me. It would have made sense, to share that with the future warrior nun. But it never was shared with her, traditionally, it was always one of the sister warriors who carried that information."

"And you never shared it with us?" Mary's rage bubbled. "Like it was your fucking secret to hold onto?"

But Beatrice couldn't let Mary drag her down that black hole, not yet anyways. "It precisely was. There was a reason this was kept in strict confidence, over centuries. All waiting for one moment where the need to protect the warrior nun will be stronger than the church itself. No one even knew if that moment will ever come...." she faltered for a second. "But it has".

Silence. "Put the address into the GPS" Camilla seemed to have made a decision. "We serve God, not the church. And our priority is Ava, not our own feelings and existence". And that was, perhaps, the strongest tool the 3 nuns had in their disposal, the one power they held over Ava and Mary. They whole heartedly believed the cause, dedicating their 'eternal soul' as Beatrice once put it, to protecting the warrior nun above all else. This was was helped Beatrice remain calm while Ava was inside the cave, what helped her direct Lilith's jittery energy during their wait. Ava once joked that the group was like her own secret service.

That seemed to have calmed everyone down. Lilith didn't participate in the conversation anyways, just nodded in agreement with Camilla, signed an continued looking out the window, thoughtful. 

Beatrice heard a shuffle behind her, and turned to see Ava switching sides on the bench, now leaning against her seat, her fingers lightly touching her shoulders. 

"Beatrice" she breathes, the movement still hurting. "How are you?" 

Beatrice blinked, this was just about the last thing she expected Ava to say. Their last conversation, was Ava's screaming and cursing as she was being dragged away to the car. It didn't take too long for Beatrice's sharp mind to reach the undeniable conclusion that they had no chance to beat Adriel at that moment. They simply didn't have enough knowledge or skill to deal with that card thrown on the table. They had to regroup, read through all texts and review all conversations with more critical eyes, approach this fight from a different angle. They had to get out of there before they lost more than they - she - were willing to lose. 

She had her moment after Ava was able to kick Adriel away and he tumbled behind the fountain, losing sight of them momentarily. As Ava lifted her sword ready to charge again, Beatrice caught her arm, throwing her off balance.

"What the fuck?!" Ava turned, enraged. 

"Ava we have to go, now". Beatrice said with urgency, noticing her sisters getting ready to either head out and stay and die, protecting their warrior nun. There was no question there. But they won't die - at least, not at that moment. Not if Beatrice could control it.

"What do you mean go?" Ava looked at her, incredulously. "Have you lost your mind? i'm not leaving till this shit head is dead". Ava took a step forward, and Beatrice grabbed her arm more strongly. 

"No Ava, listen to me, we have to go. We cannot win this fight, and we need to understand how to do this. We can't stay here." She looked into Ava's eyes, praying her words will get through to Ava in her battle haze. "Please, trust me, we have to go now".

Ava stopped for a moment, blinking at her.

"No". She said, her mouth set in a grim line. "I'm not running away". As she turned to take another step, Beatrice didn't hesitate. Using the ring one last time, she injected a sedative into Ava's neck, knowing the halo will probably clear her blood of the serum within a second or two, but hoping this will give her the time she needed to - there we go - put Ava on her shoulder and start moving away.

"Let's go!" she heard Camilla yelling, Lilith supporting Mary and all 3 of them covering her back as they ran and shuffled outside. 

As expected, the Halo kicked in and Ava announced her return to the land of living as only Ava could. 

"Beatrice! Put me down! who the fuck...." she started struggling, her knees kicking Beatrice once, twice in the chest till she had choice but to stop and put her down. Ava turned, about to head back into the Piazza. Beatrice grabbed her shoulder, turning her back.

"Ava, don't make me fight you". That seemed to have stopped Ava in her tracks. "If I have to punch you out so you stop being so _fucking_ stubborn, I will". Ava's mouth dropped open, and the same crooked smile, the 'is this our thing now' delighted face came back for a second. 

"Well there's no need for such foul language, _Sister_ Beatrice" Ava drawled, coming to a complete halt. Beatrice waited a moment, seeing the amused smiles around. 

Camilla came back with the Landrover shortly after, and no conversations were held till just a moment ago.

"Bea." Ava's voice cuts through her thoughts again. She finds it a bit hard to focus, absentmindedly wandering if she's concussed and filing that thought away. "Are you OK?" she repeats the question, a little louder and drawing a curious look from Camilla. 

"I'll be fine"

Beatrice answers, adding a small squeeze of fingers to the hand resting on her shoulder. Ava doesn't wait for permission and grabs her hand, holding her place.

"Just..." she hesitates for a moment and then seems smiles a small, sad smile. "I trust you. It'll be fine". She squeezes' Beatrice's fingers once again and settles back down, weary and aching, still. The halo will heal her, she has no doubt, but it's the time minutes till _that_ happens that are exhausting. 

Beatrice looks at the GPS screen. "It will take us about 2 hours to get to the safe house." she announces to the car. "If it's all the same to you, we won't be making any stops on the way. I'd much like to disappear of the map as quickly as possible before we're..." the words that pops into her mind is _hunted_ , but she won't say it out loud. They won't be tracked like poor, defenseless animals. "Let's just disappear." She says finally. 

No reaction from the back. Beatrice wonders if her team is going into shock, is she about to lose her fighting unit? what _are_ they fighting for? Is there a mission?

Like a ping pong, her thoughts bounce of the walls of her mind. It goes on for the duration of the drive and by the time they reach the safe house, she is absolutely, without a doubt, exhausted. 

The drive to the house took them up a mountain ("good location." Camilla mumbled as they reached the top), and into a hidden valley close to the peak, surrounded by fields. They drove through a small village and Beatrice made a note of the clinic they drove past. When the car stops, it is night, and the lights inside the house are on. 

When the car stopped in front of the house, the residents of the car started moving about. Camilla stayed in with Mary and Ava, following a short discussion about perhaps not showing all their cards ("If we're cards, I want to to be the queen." Ava jumped, with Mary biting back, without even thinking. "Oh, if anything you're the joker". Ava stuck her tongue out, and for a minute this all feels normal). 

Lilith now qualifies as their most formidable weapon, and both herself and Beatrice leave the car and walk slowly, carefully, to the door. 

Looking from the car, Ava notes how Beatrice now carries herself as a warrior, and not a nun. It was something she took notice of a while ago - when Beatrice was in her nun clothes, praying or just walking around Cat's Cradle, her pace was always measured, hands clasped in the front and calmly by her side. When she was training - or in full combat mode as Ava saw just once and had not yet fully had time to think about how _fucking impressive_ and _mean kill machine _her friend (friend? really? her mind stopped) - her entire demeanor changed. Strong, purposeful gait, strong voice, hands free and ready to punch or defend at any moment.__

__Ava refocused on her sisters outside. Both Beatrice and Lilith approached the door quietly, weapons drawn. There was no need for stealth - whoever was there was either on their side, or the enemy. No in between._ _

__Suddenly the front door opened, a blast of light coming in from the inside. A black dog runs out, sniffling Lilith and Beatrice curiously, and then runs out to the car, tail wagging._ _

__A figure follows the dog out - an older woman, white hair and strong features._ _

__"Sister Beatrice" she bows. Beatrice bows slightly back, her fingers tightening on the knife in her hand. "I am sister Antonia, keeper of this house. You are all welcome." Sister Antonia lifts her eyes and looks at the car, then back to Beatrice and Lilith. "Mother Superion has informed me you are the new carrier of this location." She stops, and pain shows across her face. "It is a terrible day for our order, if you are here"._ _

__Beatrice nods, not want to say anything, not yet. Nevertheless..._ _

__"We need to rest, recover. We are all injured"._ _

__"Of course, of course." Their new host rushes to agree. "Please...." she turns and gestures at the house. "This house was built and kept for you, for all of you". She hesitates. "Is the halo bearer... Ava, is she here?"_ _

__At her words, Lilith reacts immediately, claws out and tightening around Antonia's neck. "How do you know her name?" she growls._ _

__Sister Antonia remains calm, as only a true OCS nun probably would. "Mother Superion has informed me of the recent passing of Sister Shannon, and the new bearer. I have only recieved word of it two days ago, what has happened since?" She looks around again. "Is Mother Superion...?"_ _

__"We don't know" Beatrice answers. Her gut tells her to trust the woman. But her gut also told her to trust Father Vincent, so..._ _

__Sister Antonia puts her hand on Lilith palms, gently pushing it down. "Please sister. I am the custodian of this house, and your sister. You will not be harmed here"._ _

__For some reason beyond her comprehension, Beatrice decides to go with the very childish logic of Where's there's a friendly dog, there cannot be harm._ _

__"Lilith, let her go." She says quietly, turning to the car and waving them all over. "Ava is in the car, she's fine. We don't know about Mother Superion, I hope she will come here as well. We have been betrayed by Father Vincent." Her voice starts quivering and she starts feeling her control slipping away. Just like those last kilometers in the marathon, she digs in dipper. "Sister, let's continue this talk inside."_ _

__Sister Antonia ushers them all in, bowing respectfully to all of them, curiously looking at Ava. She explains that she has never actually met a halo bearer, only kept the house ready for whenever she would need her._ _

__The door closes behind them, and for Beatrice, this signals the end of the OCS chapter in their lives... temporarily at least._ _


	2. Protect them from the evil one

After closing and shutting the door behind them, Antonia went straight for business. 

“I am assuming you are all in need for medical attention. Do you need me to make an assessment of each one separately or do you know who should go first?” 

At Beatrice’s impressed look, Antonia added “I am a physician, and we have equipment here to handle most common battle injuries. Anything worse that that will have to be taken care of at the village, but it doesn’t look that way from how you all are looking”. 

Beatrice took stock of her sisters. Mary was now leaning heavily against Camilla, her shoulder in an awkward angle, bleeding from several places including a badly split lip, and one eye swollen and almost completely closed. Camilla and Lilith seemed fine, sporting various cuts and bruises. Lilith’s throat now had an imprint of Adriel’s fingers, a souvenir of the strong choke hold he had on her. Beatrice was hoping his body is still adorned with Lilith’s claw marks in return. 

Ava, leaning on her sword, seemed fine physically. Drained, but Beatrice could not tell if it was a mental drain, physical drain due to the halo’s power not fully returning yet, or a combination of both. She suspected it to be the later. 

As for herself, she was dizzy and focusing took a bit more of an effort that usual. Taking in deep breaths was painful, indicating of a possible rib injury. She halted her thoughts, no point in wasting time.

“Start with Mary,” Beatrice stated what was now obvious. “Let me help you Camilla”.

If ever there was an indication that Mary was in a bad place, it was the fact she didn’t argue, and her body just slacked against her sisters as they carried her out of the hall.  
Looking around, Ava saw a living room next to the open hall and crashed into one of the sofas, her sword cluttering to the floor. Lilith hurried over and seconds later Beatrice showed up, a knife out and eyes scanning the rooms hurriedly. On her heels was the dog, curious and focused. 

“I’m fine guys, sorry. I just can’t stand anymore.” Ava apologized, bending down to move the sword sideways. 

Beatrice heaved a sigh of relief and wordlessly turned back, leaving the room in silence. The dog looked at them for a second and then walked to Ava’s feet, sniffing her. She patted his head and he laid down, curling around himself. 

“I’m sorry we didn’t listen to you when you tried to stop us from going into the grave.” Ava quietly said, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. 

“Ava…” Lilith set down on one of the other chairs in the room. “I still can’t explain why I had that…” she looked for the right word but couldn’t find one. “It just became so clear to me,” she whispered, brows furrowed and gaze drifting off. “But I can’t tell you where it came from”.

Ava nodded, accepting it as that. They sat in silence, Ava closing her eyes and just letting the tears fall from her eyes. 

“What’s the story of this place?” she sat up after a minute, wondering out loud.

Lilith shrugged. “I haven’t a clue. I never even heard whispers of this, it was truly kept a secret from all involved. Beatrice or Antonia will tell us later”. Ava nodded again, sitting up. 

“I’m hungry” she announced. Lilith smiled. A bit of normality was appreciated. 

“Let’s look what they have here, we should all eat together but at the very least we can find you something to nibble on meanwhile”. 

They were just finished laying out all the ingredients found through the surprisingly (or not) well stocked kitchen, when Camilla walked back. 

“Sister Antonia just finished popping Mary’s AC joint back in place,” she informed the two standing there. “And right now she’s suturing a very deep laceration she has in her head.” She walked to the sink, taking a glass put out by Ava and filling it with water. She gulped it down in one go, turning to the women standing there.

“What happened in the grave? And…” she shook her head, suddenly confused. “Lilith, how did you get there?” Lilith smiled, walking over to Camilla and putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

“let’s wait till we’re all settled down, and we can share everything.” Her look turned to Ava. “Can you tell us about what happened down at the grave?” Ava nodded. 

They heard steps and turned to see Beatrice walking in, all business like. 

“Lilith, can you please go and have Antonia look you over?”

Without saying a word Lilith left, Beatrice standing looking around. Camilla handed her another water filled glass and she took it gratefully, a small sigh escaping her lips as she lifted it up. She took a big gulp and brought the glass down.

Ava, standing there quietly with her hands holding on to a loaf of bread, couldn’t help but notice Beatrice’s hand shaking as she held the glass. She exchanged a quick look with Camilla, who, from the wrinkle appearing in her forehead, also noticed it. 

“Bea.” Camilla started gently. “I think you should get examined as well”.

“I’m fine” Beatrice insisted, finishing the water and putting it down. “I’ll have a word with Antonia once she’s done with all of you. Let’s use the time to prepare something to eat,  
we all haven’t had anything since we left our rooms this morning.” Her gaze turned to Ava, softening. “You must be starving”. 

Ava looked sheepishly down at the loaf of bread she was cradling. “I mean… I could eat."

Beatrice smiled, and it felt like the first smile since… well, since the reassuring smile she gave Ava just before she started her walk through the wall. 

“Then let us start. I don’t believe Lilith will take much longer”.

As they worked in the kitchen, Beatrice looked at Ava who slowly seemed to be regaining her playful spirit. She just sprayed Camilla with tap water, laughing at the squeak coming out of Camilla’s mouth. After washing her hands of the blood and dust still covering her, she gathered all ingredients and started chopping up a salad, the feel of the knife – even a kitchen knife – anchoring her.

She thought back to the piazza, walking back to the fountain after temporarily disabling Adriel. As they were walking back, Ava seemed to have recovered completely, even washing her face in the fountain water. She started walking towards them, there was an unusual energy about her, exerting confidence Beatrice has not felt from her before. More than confidence, it was a transformation into not only a fighter, a team member willing to hang back while her team bought her the time she needed, but a driven, focused and lethal warrior. 

As ava walked between them, after they revealed their short, wordless scheme to Adriel, her hips swayed and there was something just incredibly erotic about it.  
Beatrice gasped, shocked at the word and feeling that pierced her body, the knife cluttering down to the board she used to slice vegetables on.

“You okay there Beatrice?” Ava quickly stood by, taking her hand in hers. There was a small nick of blood on one of her fingers, and quickly applied pressure on it, eyes scouring up to Beatrice’s now flushed face.

“I’m tired.” Beatrice just said, but her tone was a surprised one. She was so surprised by her mind giving that feeling a name.

Ava looked at her, and then reached with her other hand, pulling down the black coif covering Beatrice’s head. Beatrice blinked at her, surprised.

“Just take a load off, will you?” Ava touched her French braid, just a few hairs out of place. “I don’t think you have to be in full warrior sister mode to chop up a salad, right?”  
They were close, reminding Beatrice of that moment just after Ava crashed out of the wall, covering 6 meters of rock at once. 

Camilla cleared her throat; her head now bare of the coif as well. 

“if you don’t mind,” she smiled her shy smile at them. “I’m just going to quickly check on Mary and Lilith”. 

She left the kitchen, leaving them standing there, still looking at each other.

“I haven’t thanked you for getting me out of the grave.” Ava whispered quietly; her fingers still wrapped around Beatrice’s hand.  
Beatrice took a deep, wavering breath and to Ava’s utter surprise leaned her forehead against Ava’s. she didn’t say anything, nor did Ava speak, for once. They stood there for a couple of seconds, breaths mixing. 

“I’m scared Bea.” Ava admitted, drawing back a little. Beatrice looked into her eyes and closed hers again, drawing an inner strength from a quickly drying deposit she had within. 

“we can still salvage this, and we will find a way to defeat him” her tone was the same one she used when promising Ava she will blow the Vatican if needed. And it was, and she did, which was quite incomprehensible when Ava thought about it. Beatrice was the most dedicated of them all, wasn’t she?

“Are you still a nun?” Ava asked suddenly, not even sure where the question came from.

Beatrice blinked twice, surprised at the question. She pulled back and Ava immediately regretted asking. 

“I’m sorry, that was so rude”.

“No it’s actually…” Beatrice hesitated. “I don’t know” she finally admitted. “It’s complicated.”

“No shit…” Ava turned back to her side of the counter, feeling that maybe Beatrice needs the space.

Seeing her actions, Beatrice turned to the board again, picking up the knife and noticing the tremors in her body. Logically she understood she must be going through some reaction, but stubbornly she stayed on course. This was not the time to lose control. 

Eventually they were joined by their host and the team’s 3 members. By the time Antonia finished with both Lilith and Mary, a simple but fresh dinner was awaiting them. They all sat around a large table in the kitchen.

“Bless us, O Lord, and these, thy gifts…” Sister Antonia sat at the head of the table, started the food blessing with Beatrice, Camilla and Lilith joining. Ava and Mary sat quietly, waiting for them to finish.

“So what’s the story of this house?” Ava wasted no time with either food nor questions, shoving a slice of bread into her mouth and looking at Antonia. 

“Since you’re here now and now if its existence I can tell you.” Antonia poured a glass of wine to herself and Camilla’s glasses, the rest declining.  
“This dates back to the days of Areala, believe it or not, “ Antonia started. “There are no written records due to the secrecy this entitled, but it seems that our founder felt the need for a secure location that will only be known and used by the sister warriors themselves”.

“Oh!” Ava jumped. “I know why, but continue, I’ll explain later” she added quickly, seeing the looks around the table. Antonia nodded and continued.

“There are only a few of these houses around the land, and we don’t know the location of the others. Only the head of the order, the mother of the convent, knows the location of all of them, and she is sworn to die and not reveal these to anyone except whichever sister she chooses to share the location of each one with.

“So there are other nuns in our order that know of these safe houses existing?” Beatrice whispers. Her mind makes quick connections, wondering if the knowledge could have made its way to Vincent. 

“no, she only shares the location of one house. If there is a need, you will travel to one of the other safe houses from here, once I share it with you, _if_ I share it with you”.

“Paranoid much” Ava mumbles. Her face darts around at the looks she’s being given. “okay okay, you’re right. I guess there’s a reason to it”.  
Antonia continues, smiling a little at Ava’s spirit. “The communication between this location and Mother Superion is only done via letters, and the letter is sent through several convents. Each one only has the address of the next convent, so it is impossible to trace the entire delivery chain.” Antonia sighs. “It’s not foul proof, but it is also only used when either the halo bearer changes, or the custodian passes away and a new custodian is put in place”. 

“How did you came about to be here?” Camilla asks, taking a sip of wine.

“For the church, I am no longer recognized as a member. In order to protect the safety of the location, I was excommunicated and sent away from my convent. I joined the army, and when the calling came to replace Sister Lucia who was here before me, I left and came here”. The nuns gasp. Antonia shrugs, an accepting smile on her face. 

“We all make sacrifices to protect the halo bearer. This information was never shared with the halo bearers in order to protect this location. I am just sorry the time has come for me to open this house for you, Ava. It is indeed a sign of dark times.”

Ava knows this is the time to share all she has learned in the tomb. She tells them about her vision, what a monster Adriel really is, and as she shakes their belief to the core of their being, her heart breaks. When she’s done talking, Camilla is openly crying. Beatrice just breathes in and out slowly, measuredly. Lilith nods, as if corroborates her story, and Mary is probably placated by the pain medication she received, just listening quietly, with her eyes bright with tears.

“So…” Ava finished with a deep sigh. “I guess we’re all royally fucked up now, and now that that devil is out, I don’t know how we’ll beat him”. She sighs again and continues eating. Around her the sisters are still shell shocked it seems. Antonia as well sits with her mouth slightly open. 

Lilith is the first to resume eating, followed by the rest. Camilla just plays around with her food for a while, until Mary puts her hand on hers.

“Eat Camilla, it won’t help us if you starve now, right?” And she goes back to eating of her own plate, her left arm in a brace.

Ava chances a look at Beatrice. She finds her sitting and chewing quietly, almost mechanically, seeming like all is well in the world. 

And Beatrice feels just like she did when Ava was in the tomb. Now is not the time to let her feelings go crazy. She needs to refuel, shower, and research till they have a plan. This is the path god has laid before her. That’s all it is. 

But her hands keep shaking, and she is incredibly irritated at that.

When dinner was over, Ava asked if she can be excused to go out and get a breath of fresh air. 

“Take Wing with you” Antonia suggested, and the dog- Wing – perked up and stood next to Ava, wiggling his tail. 

“Oh you want to come out? Do you? Do you?” Ava played with him a bit, laughing at his leaps of joy by the door.

“Don’t be fooled by his antics,” Antonia smiles. “Wing was my K9 in the army. He’s can be very lethal when needed and will protect you to the death”. They all looked at him, getting a most innocent look back. “He will also still food off your plates if you’re not careful,” Antonia added, chuckling and turning to the table to start removing the plates. 

It was quiet dark outside, but Ava felt safe with Wing, his feet tapping next to her on the road leading to the house. She didn’t want to go far, just needed a minute to breath the fresh air outside. The tomb was so dark and scary, with damp cold air and a smell of… cold stone. Who knew a cold stone could have smell?

She thinks back to those moments on her back, screaming out and chocking on the dust. The relief she felt at hearing and then seeing Beatrice kneeling above her was a feeling of such magnitude she has never felt before. Maybe only the shock and pure joy of realizing she can run again… but that was a different feeling.

As she walked around in near complete darkness, she thought of her doe eyes protector. How strong and brave she was. Nothing seemed phase her. Ava stopped in her tracks. She watched enough medical drama, laying in her bed, to know that trauma can manifest itself in many ways. She thought about her other sisters, herself. Are they all now suffering from PTSD? What do they need to do? How can she help them?

When she came back into the house, some time later, only Antonia was in the front room. 

Antonia smiled at her, offering her a cup with tea. Ava sniffed it and took a small sip, loving the sweetness of it.

“I had a feeling you were a sweet tea kind of a person” Antonia laughed, turning to Wing and putting dog food in his bowl. He started nibbling, lifting his head to look around every once in a while.

“Where’s everyone?” Ava wondered, looking around. 

“There are two showers and a bathtub in the house,” Antonia explained. To Ava’s raised eyebrow and smirk, she hurriedly explained. “We are meant to be able to host a large group of sisters if needed, and sometimes it is impossible to stand in a shower after a fight.” 

“Of course” Ava agrees, thoughts of the tub already filling her mind. How lovely It would be to just soak, steam all around, laying her head again Bea – wow, where did that come from. 

Antonia looked at Ava’s blushing face curiously. 

“Anyway….” Ana took another sip from the tea. “So everyone’s already out?” 

“Let me show you around the house and you can see for yourself” Antonia offered, picking up her own cup of coffee. Ava followed.

“You saw the kitchen and the sitting room in the front, and here –“ Antonia opened a door, “Is one of the bedrooms you can choose to sleep in.” The room had one big soft bed. “This is normally the room reserved for the halo bearer” Antonia explained.

“I… okay” Ava turned and walked out. Honestly not feeling like staying on her own but not wanting to talk about it, yet. 

Antonia showed her the two other rooms – one with two beds where Mary and Camilla were already asleep, and another room with two beds. There was also a library and another door, leading to a basement. 

“I will show you the underground floor in the morning, this is where we keep the weapons stored and there are other spaces there you can choose to utilize.”

“Wow, this is like Batman’s cave” Ava was impressed. Antonia chuckled in return. 

“Well, this house was planned as a refuge and hideout, so I suppose we’re trying to think of everything you might need”. As they were standing and talking, Lilith joined them, shorts and a loose t shirt hanging off her body, toweling dry her white hair. 

“Lilith, are you ok being on your own today?” Ava hurriedly asked, before Antonia could say anything. 

She received a curious look in return. “I’d actually prefer it”. 

“Wonderful” Ava beamed. Lilith looked around her.

“Where’s Beatrice? She went it before I did and she is usually the quickest of us all”. 

“should I go see if she’s ok?” Antonia offered. 

“Ava should go.” Lilith said, decisively. Ava was surprised but obviously didn’t mind being volunteered to do it.. quite the contrary. Antonia pointed to where the other shower was and Ava paddled over, listening at the door. The shower was running.

She knocked on the door, calling out. “Beatrice?”

No answer.

She knocked again, calling out stronger this time. “Beatrice? Are you okay?”

No answer. Ava chewed her bottom lip for a second, and slowly pressed on the handle, opening the door. She was expected a shout from within, but when no voice came through, she pushed it open and walked in.

Beatrice was sitting on the floor, her black attire folded neatly by her side, all weapons carefully spread out. Her hands were clasped in front of her, with her head against her  
thumbs.

“Beatrice…?” Ava asked again, closing the door and kneeling next to her. Steam was rising slowly through the room, tendrils of sweat and heat showing on Beatrice’s exposed arms. She was wearing just a simple black sports bra and tights, having disposed of all layers. Her whole body was shaking.

Ava hesitated for a second and then put her hand on her shoulder, slowly. Knives away or not, Beatrice could probably kill her with her bare hands without straining a muscle. After surviving the cave, it would be a stupid way to die. 

When Ava’s hand touched her skin Beatrice jumped, utterly surprised to find Ava there.

“Ava? What…” she seemed completely perplexed to find her there. She looked around, suddenly breathing hard.

“I was just about to shower, and I…” she stopped.

“Beatrice, please. You need to rest, you need to stop” Ava insisted softly. 

“I’m fine, you can leave now, thank you.” Beatrice shrugged her hand off, making a move to stand up. Ava insisted back, putting both her hands on Beatrice’s shoulders.

“Bea, please. Please. You’re not fine, and it’s okay. Please stop.” Ava’s voice trembled, and without thinking she moved her hands, palming Beatrice’s face, her thumbs making slow patterns again her cheek bones. “You don’t need to carry us now” she whispered, and Beatrice let out a breath, and another. The tremors running up and down her body picked up in strength, it felt. She just couldn’t make herself move. 

“Bea, you need to shower. Can I…” Ava hesitated and then just went with it. “Can I shower with you?”

She was shocked at the offer she made, but Beatrice just looked at her with those big, brown doe eyes, and slowly nodded in agreement.  
There were no words exchanged. Ava helped Beatrice stand up. ‘one step at a time, one step at a time’ Ava thought repeatedly, not letting her mind break focus over what she’s doing into _what is she doing_ and _who it was she was doing it with_.

“okay” she breathed out, putting her hands on the bottom of the bra. She was just too shocked that Beatrice let her, but she slowly pushed it up and threw it aside, looking into Beatrice’s eyes, trying to give out the most calming smile she could. Beatrice just gave her a look back, taking a deep breath.

Ava quickly pushed down the tights, taking one and the other leg out. She took Beatrice’s hand in her and gently pushed her into the shower. When Beatrice stepped under the stream, she closed her eyes, putting her arms on the wall in front of her and leaning her head down, the water running in hot revolts down her naked body.

Ava couldn’t help herself, she took a step back and admired the body in front of her. With Beatrice’s eyes facing away from her, she could just look – strong eloquent muscles stretched, covered by a myriad of scars. Covering her right side there was a large bruise, and a cut across her left thigh. And even though she tried not to, Ava failed miserably and found herself staring at the strong round buttocks in front of her.

“okay, okay” she repeated again, refocusing herself. She quickly donned off her own cloths, chucking them aside in a complete and expected reversal of the neatly folded pile in the corner.

When she stepped into the shower, Beatrice was in the same position, eyes closed. Feeling more confident about her actions, Ava stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Beatrice’s torso, gently, as to not put pressure on her ribs. Beatrice stood up and leaned back into her hug, her head leaning to the side, against Ava’s.

“Thank you” she whispered. 

“Oh Beatrice…” Ava’s voice broke. “I should be thanking you, you saved me, just like you promised”.

Beatrice turned around in Ava’s hug, her hands now around Ava’s neck.

Their naked bodies glided softly against each other, and Ava felt the sharp sting of desire coursing through her body. She quickly shoved it deep down. _s So inappropriate Ava!_ she scolded herself.

But Beatrice just looked her, look unwavering.

“Love must be sincere” she whispers, moving her head closer to Ava’s head. “Hate what is evil” she moves closer still, her lips nearly touching Ava’s. 

Ava’s arms tighten around Beatrice’s waist. A thought crosses her mind – is Beatrice losing her shit completely? Is this real? It feels so right, but…. 

“Cling…” Beatrice breathes out, her lips moving against Ava, touching and not touching. Ava’s mind halts, completely.

“to what is good” and Beatrice clings, to one person she grounds her being into, to the person to whom she has now dedicated her life, her protection, her being. She kisses Ava and Ava kisses her back, not able to reason with herself, not caring to stop.

Beatrice’s fingers tangle through Ava’s hair, bringing her closer still. Their mouths open and tongues caress, sending another bolt of desire through Ava’s body. This is nothing like what she felt with JC. It is raw, pure, and it is so loving. She breathes in and out of her nose, humming at the feelings coursing through her body.  
But suddenly her stupid mind wakes up.

“Beatrice, Bea…” she breathes hard, but Beatrice won’t release her, clinging on to her as if she was a last lifeline. “Beatrice, stop”.  
Beatrice pulls back, a look of horror on her face. 

“Ava, oh, I’m so, so sorry!” her hands cover her mouth, eyes wide with shock. 

“Bea no, don’t be” Ava grabs her again, bringing their bodies tight together. “I want, really, I do, so much.” Her words come out a bit garbled, and she loses the fight again, this time initiating the contact herself. They lived through such horror, how can they not celebrate each other like this. They kiss again, tongues and teeth and arms and…

“It’s just,” Ava pulls back again, mentally hitting herself over the head but caring too much. “I think we need to shower and rest and we can pick this up later.” She hugs Beatrice and whispers in her ear. “Let’s just finish here and go to bed”.

Beatrice nods, and lets Ava proceed to do just that. She takes a washcloth and gently starts cleaning Beatrice, and it is calming and extremely arousing at the same time. As she gently circles Beatrice’s breast, eventually going over the pointy nipple, she can’t help but notice that whatever emotional standstill Beatrice was in when Ava walked into the room, she seems to have snapped out of it. While Ava washes her, her hands never stop caressing Ava, touching her hair, caressing her face. 

Eventually she takes the cloth out of Ava’s hands, finishing off her intimate areas, washing it again and returning the favor, her hands slowly gliding over Ava’s body.  
Ava was used to being washed, the nuns in the orphanage had to give her bath and washed her once a day, but obviously, it was nothing like this. It was not a loving touch, just a quick, impersonal act.

But here there was nothing but love and care in every movement. 

Ava steps out of the shower first, taking a large towel and wrapping Beatrice in it as she walks into her arms. Beatrice puts her head on Ava’s shoulder, her arms around herself and the towel wrapped around her. She doesn’t want to think about what just happened between them, earlier, at all. She doesn’t want to analyze it. She wants that peace and quiet post battle, to turn off her mind entirely. 

“Hold onto the towel for a second” Ava whispers. When Beatrice does that, and Ava makes a quick work of drying herself. She wraps the towel around her and wraps her arms again around Beatrice. 

They stand there for a moment longer, Beatrice reluctant to leave the room. Life is out in full force outside, and she will have to deal with everything again. She feels this is the first time in so long she’s been able to let go, just a bit. 

“Let’s go to bed” Ava whispers. They leave the room together, each wrapped in her own towel. Wing, laying by the front door, lifts his head, wiggles his tail and puts his head back down. The house is quiet, dark, with just the light in the bedroom on. 

When they walk into the room they notice a stack of clothes neatly folded on each bed. Ava sits down, slowly blinking at Beatrice. She receives a shy smile in return, and with a turned back, Beatrice quickly dresses. Ava does the same, and when both are done, both seem to hesitate.

“Come sleep with me” Beatrice reaches out with her hand, pulling Ava to her, shocking herself just coming out with the thought that was on her mind. But Ava seemed to be relieved, smiling one her big, wobbly and frankly dazzling smiles.

Beatrice doesn’t want to think about it, doesn’t want to deal with the implications.

She doesn’t want to be a warrior.

She doesn’t want to be a nun.

Just Beatrice.

She wraps her arms around Ava who reaches a hand out, and the room is thrust into darkness.

And it is dark, and silent, and Beatrice closes her eyes, and feeling nothing but warmth, and quiet, she closes her eyes.

It will all resume tomorrow.


	3. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer

When it was time to wake up, Beatrice would usually open her eyes and immediately sit down in her bed. Moments later she would already be up, washing her face in the basin in her room and ready to start the morning. 

She would never delay, never allow herself a moment to just absorb the morning, stretch leisurely – all focused, in order. 

When wakefulness arrived that first morning in the sanctuary, Beatrice didn’t open her eyes. She laid there with her eyes closed, absorbing. Everything was unusual, out of place, the smells, feel – it wasn’t her room, her home.

But the body next to hers was familiar. The feeling of waking up next to it – or any body for that matter – was unfamiliar. Still, she kept her eyes closed for just a moment longer, listening to sounds coming from the field. The tapping of Wing’s paws on the wood floor. Birds chirping outside and – she furrowed her eyebrows, trying to recognize the sound – a goat?

Taking stock of her body, she was pleased to feel breathing was less painful, although every movement was still felt. Moving all her fingers and slowly stretching her legs it was evident whatever hits were laid on her didn’t do any lasting damage, although the cuts along her thigh was definitely stinging. 

And with the thoughts of the battle yesterday, the full reality of betrayal and the complete and utter collapse of all the ideals upon which she built her world came crashing down on her, her chest tightening. The pain she felt breathing in and out had nothing to do with her bruised rib, and everything to do with her broken heart.

“Wha…” she felt Ava’s body next to hers jolting awake, and she opened her eyes to see Ava sitting up, confused. 

As soon as she opened her eyes, Beatrice was horrified to realize she now had tears streaming down her face. She covered her eyes with one hand, trying to hid her wet eyes from Ava but as soon as she felt Ava’s hand on her shoulder, the tears turned into full on sobbing.

“Beatrice, oh Beatrice, don’t cry, please.” Ava’s voice was so near, whispering in her ear as she cradled her in her arms. 

Emotionally exhausted, still, Beatrice just curled into Ava, burying her head in her chest. Ava just held her close, tenderly stroking her hair and mumbling whatever came to her head.

“We’ll find a way through this Beatrice, I swear. I won’t let this end like this, you deserve so much more.” She kissed Beatrice’s head once, twice, going down to her temple. Soft, tender kisses.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Ava was absolutely flabbergasted at the turn of events. Out of all the people she has met over the last week, Beatrice was the most solid of them all, leading the group with a determined, never wavering zealous. And here she was, just… human, like her. 

“You are strong Beatrice, you are so strong and beautiful,” Beatrice sobbed harder at that, but Ava continued on. “You will beat this, you will beat all of them, I swear. I’m not going anywhere, I won’t run away ever again, and I’ll do whatever it takes, whatever you need me to do”. 

The sobbing quieted down and Beatrice sniffled once, twice. Then she lifted her head, looking into Ava’s eyes and gave out a crooked smile.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me” she admitted, quietly. “This has never happened to me before.”

Ava lifted an eyebrow, a suddenly wicked smile on adorning her face.

“Even youth grow tired and weary,” She quoted, to Beatrice’s complete and utter amazement. “Even young men… well, women, stumble and fall”.

Beatrice laughed, delighted. “But those who trust in the lord shall renew their strength.” She completed the quote, laughing. “Oh my god Ava, where did that come from?”

Ava hugged her closer, laughing, entirely pleased with herself. 

“I am god’s chosen one, right? Obviously, I need to know this kind of stuff”. 

Beatrice pulled back, giving her an incredulous, unbelieving look.

“Ah, I’m just playing, I’m just playing” Ava laughed again, entirely too pleased with herself. Or maybe rightfully pleased, seeing as she got Beatrice to laugh for the first time for quite a few days. 

“It’s from Remember the Titans, you know, that Disney movie about the football team?” Beatrice smiled softly, shaking her head at how… wonderful Ava could be.

“Tell me about it” she laid back, pulling Ava with her and they turned, so it was Beatrice’s head on top of Ava’s chest, listening to the Halo bearer’s heart beat and her voice excitedly sharing the tales of an American high school football team fighting against racism, in a time and place that was as far away from where they were now, as any.

*****  
They did eventually leave the room, to find the house full of light and sun, with a lovely breakfast table set up.

Sister Antonia was sitting out in the porch, holding a small book in her hands. Out in the large yard in front of the house Camilla was running around playing with Wing, with Lilith and Mary walking around, Mary on her own but close to her sister, both drawing strength from each other, it seemed.

To someone looking from the outside, it was just like a group of friends enjoying a summer resort. Not a group of warriors gathering their strength again in preparation to save the world.

But saving the world will have to wait. They weren’t ready yet. 

Ava walked out first, greeting everyone loudly and excitedly, obviously enjoying the outside. Beatrice hung back a bit, leaning against the door frame.

“Good morning sister.” Antonia greeted her. Now at day light, Beatrice could see she had some white hair strung but nothing as dramatic as Lilith’s hair – and what was the deal with that, another thing that didn’t make any sense but probably a small thing in the grand scheme of things. She looked strong, ready to work the fields or get into an arm wrestle if needed. A Scandinavian sort of built, strong as an oak.

“Good morning, sister Antonia,” Beatrice greeted back. Antonia smiled, put her hands on her knees and stood up. She walked towards Beatrice and the door, stopping just short of walking past her.

“We didn’t get to talking much yesterday evening,” she said quietly. “But if you were entrusted with this location, I know this means you are a special one”. 

Beatrice looked down, her shoulders sagging for just the briefest of moments. But it was enough for Antonia to notice, and she gave her a small, understanding smile.

“All the powers of hell will not conquer it” she quoted, looking directly into the brown haired nun’s eyes. Beatrice looked up again.

“Let’s eat breakfast, and then we can all gather our wits about and start planning our future. It is time to mend our souls, sister.” Beatrice nodded, not wanting to speak. “Come, let’s get the girls and eat. Remember, even eating should be done for the glory of god!”

“What was that?” Ava popped by, breathing hard after running around with Camilla. “Eating is for the glory of the lord? Bring it on!” with two quick steps she disappeared into the house.

Beatrice shook her head, smiled and followed her in. She heard Antonia calling the other 3 warriors inside, and sat down by the table, waiting for them to join.

“Hey baby girl” Mary greeted Ava, smiling at Beatrice and touching her arm for a second before sitting down. She looked tired, her arm still in the sling, but a good night’s rest and the treatment she received ensured she was in better spirits and well on her way to recover. That and Lilith’s determined dive into the file of possessed believers to pull her out before any significant damage would take place.

Lilith seemed calmer too, sitting down next to Mary, spreading herself on the chair leisurely. She reached out and grabbed a grape, popping it into her mouth.

Camilla, god bless her, walked over to Ava and hugged her gently. Ava closed her eyes and laid her head back for just a moment, obviously appreciating the energy the smaller calmer nun gave out. She then turned to Beatrice, and surprised her with a soft kiss to her forehead. 

“Good morning dear Beatrice” she whispered, her lips moving against her forehead. She then pulled back, smiled her almost shy at times smile at her and sat down.

It was such a motherly, loving gesture – not at all expected, but oh so appreciated. Beatrice smiled back at her.

“So!” Mary hit the table, strong enough to draw attention and a jump from Wing, but not violent or aggressive. “We live to fight another day, but if it’s all the same to you, before we deal with this clusterfuck…” Camilla cleared her throat, looking pointedly at Sister Anotnia. That drew a laugh from the older nun.

“Thank you, but I assure you I’ve heard worst things during my time in the army. And besides…” she busied herself pouring juice to their glasses. “From what Ava told us last night, I think that might be a very appropriate way to describe our current situation”.  
“Finally!” Mary lifted her cup. “Somebody who understands the true value in a well timed F word”. That drew a big laugh from all.

Ava lifted her cup as well, big smile on her face. “Here’s to F words”.

“Here here” they all lifted their cups and drank, laughing. 

From that moment on, breakfast was quite boisterous. Without discussing it, it seemed they all decided to put aside the tribulations of the day before and enjoy just another moment of mental downtime.

The food was so fresh, Ava couldn’t stop eating. Antonia explained it mostly came from the fields. She did go into the city, she explained, and took workers to help with the fields but only when it was really necessary, to avoid the risk of outsides being on premises if any of the warrior sisters showed up. 

“You have to sacrifice so much” Camilla voiced out what they were all realizing. Ava, for her part, was one again washed with guilt over the sacrifices they all made just to protect her and the legacy of the halo. 

“Not at all, dear Camilla, not at all.” Antonia assured her. “It is not a sacrifice, but a choice that I am grateful the lord, in his kindness, has allowed me to make”. She smiled at the young women around the table, noticing their pensive looks. 

“How are you so ok with everything that’s happening?” Ava wondered out loud. “It’s all so f…” at Beatrice’s raised eyebrow she stopped. “It’s all so twisted and well.. just horrible” she rephrased, giving a pointed look back at Beatrice.

Sister Antonia sighed. They all stopped eating, each delving into her own dark place, thinking again of yesterday.

“Vincent set us up.” Beatrice repeated her words from the day before, still as shocked as she was when her mind efficiently and cruelly connected all the dots and presented her with the unavoidable, horrific conclusion.

“Vincent killed Shannon.” Mary whispered, as heartbroken over it as she was standing by her love’s bleeding body, realizing their time together was about to over.

Beatrice looked at Camilla, who looked down, lips quivering. Her heart went out to their youngest team member, who dedicated herself to a false promise. 

It was Ava who broke the silence first. 

“Listen you guys, we need to work out how to beat this guy, because I looked into his soul and I’m telling you, it was darker than anything you can imagine.” Ava shuddered, recalling their moments down in the grave. “He’s the devil, there’s not one a shred of good in him, and we have to eliminate him. I don’t care if he has the god damn tooth fairy on his side, he _has_ to go **down** ”. When she finished talking, without even thinking about it, she struck the table with the knife she was holding, ending up with the knife halfway through the think oak.

“Oh shit!” she looked at the knife and up at Antonia. “Sorry!” she pulled it out, sheepishly putting it back.

There was silence around the table, and then Camilla gave out a laugh, and they all seemed to relax.  
“We have a purpose, and it hasn’t changed” Lilith added, reaching out and holding on to Mary’s hand, gently. Mary smiled back at her. “We protect the halo bearer, we fight ancient evil. That has not changed.”

“We bust through the front door, kick some ass and blow this joint!” Ava cheered, attracting groans from around the table. 

“Shut up kid” Mary threw a piece of bread at her. 

Beatrice smiled, focusing on her plate. The ache she felt in her chest, all her muscles feeling as if they were in a constant spasm, wouldn’t let up. The positive vibes around the table did cheer her up, did help her refocus.

She lifted her look and gazed sideways at Ava who was, as usual, stuffing her mouth with food and chatting with Antonia who seemed awed by the Halo Bearers ability to speak and chew at the same time without spitting out half of the ingredients in her mouth.  
Ava… last night. Oh dear. She felt her face heating up, knowing a blush was now covering her features, which in turn made her look even more determinedly down, into her food.

She knew she should be feeling guilty, she broke her chastity vow, and probably a long list of church laws, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel anything but delight at the turn their relationship has taken so suddenly and quickly.

It was almost incomprehensible for her to think that just days ago Ava did not exist in her life. And how quickly it all turned.

She had sworn herself to the halo bearer as a default, and even before Ava woke up on that bed she made up her mind that if this is the woman the halo chose, she will protect her and follow her as it was required of her as a sister warrior in the order of the cruciform sword.

But it was just a day into their time together that she felt a strong bond with Ava forming. It felt like destiny, something stronger than them. 

She shook her head, refocusing. 

“So if I could suggest,” Antonia put her utensils down, pushing the plate away. “As we all look to be just about done, let me show you to our changing room, you can choose your cloths there, be it a habit, training cloths or just regular street wear. I would strongly urge you to use this day for additional recovery, before resuming training and preparing for whatever steps we take from here”. 

There were murmurs of agreement around the table. 

“Good!” Antonia stood up. “Take a couple of minutes to wash up and I’ll show you the other rooms below.

The walk down was actually longer than Beatrice anticipated but when they reached the bottom, she was absolutely floored at what she saw. 

It was an underground hall, reminding her of their old training room in Cat’s Cradle. There were several doors to the side, with a large wall on which weapons of any shape and size she could think of – fire arms from small handguns to automatic rifles, throwing knives, swords – enough to start their own local OCS branch if they wanted.

One room was what could be classified as Camilla’s dreams coming true – their electronic shed, as Antonia called it. Several computers and various equipment that Camilla went all “Oooh” and “Aahhh” over, looking at the instruments with adoring eyes. 

From there they went to the dressing room, which turned out to be another large hall, with racks and cloths of various sizes and kinds.

Habits identical to the blue cloths they were used to wearing were hanging on to one side, with another rack holding a set of traditional black and white habits. 

“Oh god, don’t ever wear these.” Ava shuddered. 

They all decided to settle for regular cloths, all opting for combination of pants and t-shirts. 

When they walked back up, Beatrice realized that there was actually nothing to do except… well, nothing. But she needed to refocus herself, and she had to get away from distractins, especially the distraction that was currently bustling around the kitchen, having volunteered to wash and put all the plates away.

“I think I’ll go for a walk outside,” she announced. “I shouldn’t be gone too long”. 

Ava hesitated, and then asked, “Do you want company?”

Beatrice tried to give a reassuring smile, not wanting to hurt Ava’s feelings. “No, thank you. Just need to regather myself.”

“Cool, cool” Ava nodded and turned back to the sink, a bit hurt but since she was acting all grown up since yesterday, she decided to stick with the act a little while longer.

Beatrice walked out, pleased with the sandals she has chosen. It was fall and the wind swept across the fields ahead of her, but it wasn’t cold. After ten minutes of just mindlessly wondering about she found herself walking down a path by an old fence. She eventually reached a small meadow and sat down in the sun, the rays warming her up. Birds chirping above and the only sound.

She lifted her head up, eyes closed, and felt the power of nature wrapping her with energy. 

“O LORD, how manifold are thy works.” Beatrice spoke softly, opening her heart in prayer.

She thought again of Ava, a manifold work of the lord, and indeed a proof that god works in _very_ mysterious ways. Her thoughts picked up the thread she dropped over breakfast, how close she felt to Ava from the very early start.  
Beatrice knew she was created in god’s image. God had created her this way, for a reason. This path she was put on, she did not and never could accept it was all for naught. Ava’s arrival into her life, their conversations over the Warrior Nun’s journal, their physical connection last night, surely, this was god’s will.

Her whole life had prepared her for this. To become the halo bearer’s protector. She remembered the ancient oath she last heard when watching an old video of Queen Elizabeth’s coronation. “I do become your liege woman of life and limb, and of early worship”. She took a deep breath, opening her arms wide, feeling the power and purpose filling her body. “Faith and truth I will bear unto you, to live and die, against all manner of folks. So help me God”. 

She crossed herself, eyes remaining closed. 

Back in the kitchen, Ava became restless after a while. Camilla was downstairs in the Batcave, as Ava insisted on calling the halls below despite the continued groans and eye rolling from around, going over headlines and news from the Vatican, trying to understand what was known. Mary decided to go back to sleep, still physically exhausted from the day before. Lilith and Antonia were working outside, Antonia having to tend to her small vegetable garden and Lilith, feeling the need for sun, joined her.

That left Ava alone with just Wing to keep her company, and even he was now asleep. She looked around, going to the book shelves and not really caring for any. 

She went back out, sitting on the steps leading up and looking around, trying to find Beatrice in the area surrounding the house. What if she’s having a nervous breakdown and she’s all alone? Ava worried. What if Beatrice was freaking out over last night, the shower and the kiss and… Ava stopped, heat flushing across her body.

Do I need to freak out? Am I gay? 

She paused. 

When she met Beatrice she was immediately impressed with her, but there nothing sexual, not at first. But as they grew closer, when… Ava closed her eyes, trying to focus on the moment where she felt a shift, and smile widely remembering exactly when.  
It was when Beatrice came back, after leaving at the order of the church. Clutching that psycho Crimson’s arm, stopping her from lending a lethal hit against Mary was sprawled, defenseless. And that moment when she calmed her down, assuring her that once the halo regains power she will be able to move again. Of course she was right, but that also didn’t stop Beatrice from fretting over her in the car, and Ava couldn’t tear her eyes from the look of care reflected in hers. 

Their moments together in Arq-Tech, hearing her voice guiding her through the mess of rock, Beatrice’s delight filled laughter when Ava made it through the slab of stone placed in the room… and hearing Beatrice calling her name in the aftermath of the explosion, and knowing everything will be ok now, her would be grave is no longer that.

Ava got up. She needed to be with Beatrice, she needed her.

Something in her movement must have been quite dramatic, because both Antonia and Lilith looked at her, curiously.

“I’m going to find Beatrice.” Ava announced, her tone half challenging them to stop her. Lilith just gave her a knowing smirk.

“Take Wing with you,” Antonia asked. “he will help you find Beatrice and if you get lost.. “ Ava’s huff of “pphh, as If” interjecting with Lilith’s “There’s no if about it” mumble cut in. “so just so he can keep you company.” Antonia finished her sentence, shaking her head and smiling.

“Wing, come on boy.” Ava called out to the dog who came running over, tail wagging excitedly. 

“Go find Beatrice Wing, go, go” she encouraged him. Wing looked at her and then looked around, nose twitching and sniffing. He then turned to another path leading off from the house and started a quick stride, halting and waiting for Ava to join.

After several minutes of walking in quick pace, Ava found Beatrice. She was sitting cross legged in a clearing, halfway surrounded by large trees. Ava hesitated for a moment but then continued walking. 

Beatrice, although deep in prayer, heard Wing’s breathing and panting, and took one guess as to who it was that followed him. She opened her eyes and smiled at Ava, joy filling her body.

“Is it okay that I came?” Ava asked shyly, almost expecting to be turned away.

“More than okay Ava. Come” Beatrice patted the ground in front of her. “Come sit with me”.

 _In for a penny_ … Ava thought, sitting down and then, deciding to just go with it, she laid down, her head in Beatrice’s lap. Beatrice chuckled, delighted at their closeness.

They just stared at each other, smiles reflecting in each other’s face.

“I’m happy with what happened last night”, Beatrice started. “It was… unexpected but for me, it was real and needed and,” she stopped, looking for the right words. “It’s my purpose, Ava.” She looked below the at wide open look on Ava’s face, surprise etched on her features.

“I know you might, probably not feel the same way” Beatrice added, oddly calm about it. “But it makes no difference to how I feel. I just wanted you to know that”.

Ava didn’t answer at first, letting the words sink in. Beatrice smiled down at her, one hard slowly combing through Ava’s hair and gently touching her face.

“It’s not, I mean, it is, I mean..” Ava exhaled, annoyed at herself for not finding the right words, immediately. Beatrice smiled a patient smile but said nothing, waiting for Ava to finish.  
“I don’t know what it is Beatrice, but you’re like no one I’ve ever met. I don’t want to be without you, and I can’t…” she looked for the right words. “I don’t know if it’s love, or lust, or both, but my body, my soul, they feel awake with you. So I’m happy too, and I don’t want it to stop. Okay?” she finished with a smile, receiving a brilliant smile back.

“So what am I interrupting?” Ava asked, hands folded on her stomach. Beatrice smiled down at her and Ava was reminded of those moments in the van, after they saved each other.

“I was just about ready to finish my prayers. If you don’t mind waiting, I have just one more I want to go through and then we can stay here or go back, whatever you’d like”.

“Would you mind saying it out loud? I just want to hear your voice, and maybe it’ll count as a prayer for me as well” Ava gave a crooked smile, winking at her.

Beatrice laughed, and then bent down and gently kissed Ava’s cheek. “Of course I don’t mind.”

She straightened up, closing her eyes and tilting her head up to the sun. Ava watched her, completely enthralled by her actions. Praying was never something she felt connected to, probably because the nuns would make her pray at the orphanage, but Beatrice seemed to do it with such reverence and dedication, it felt real enough for Ava to want to at least dip her leg in.

After a moment Beatrice smiled again, looking down at Ava and entwined their fingers together, bring Ava’s hand up and kissing the back of her hand.

“The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want” she started, her lips moving against Ava’s skin. Ava pulled their hands back down and kissed Beatrice’s open palm in return. 

“He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters” Beatrice continued, softly looking into Ava’s eyes. Her hand opened up and gently touched Ava’s face.

“He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake” her fingers traced Ava’s face. Touching her eyes, nose. When they touched Ava’s mouth she couldn’t help the soft moan, her lips opening up and her tongue coming out, touching the tip of Beatrice’s finger.

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” Beatrice’s voice quivered but she continued. Was it from the oath she retook in her lord’s name, or from the desire shooting through her body at Ava’s action, she did not know. “For thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me”.

Ava couldn’t help herself anymore, she reached up with her other hand, grabbing the shirt above her and pulling Beatrice down to her. Beatrice went along with it, shifting her body so she slowly laid on top of Ava.  
“Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.” Her thigh thrust between Ava’s and Ava arched, exposing her neck. She felt Beatrice’s lips fluttering over her pulse point, kissing softly, her tongue making small circles and lips suckling gently.

A heady moan came out of her, and Ava realized she was never this turned on, had never wanted someone to touch her the way she wanted to feel Beatrice now.

Beatrice lifted her head, a suddenly serious look in her eyes. Ava recognized the passion, felt Beatrice’s pelvis moving in small movements against hers, each movement causing a wave of desire to course through her again and again.

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life” Beatrice looked deeply into her eyes, and as she gave in and caught her lips, she mumbled the last line, concluding the oath she had made. “And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.” She dove into Ava, cupping her face, their bodies gliding against each other, hips thrusting, trying to get as close as humanly possible.

Beatrice felt a smile against her lips, and just as she released a bit of the pressure to ask why Ava was smiling, she heard Ava mumble… “Amen”. She laughed, and dove back in.

Wing just sat there patiently, and after a while laid down, rolled to his side and closed his eyes.


	4. Carry each other’s burdens, And in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ

They ended up getting up and moving to lay in the shade of the trees, with Ava leaning her back against the tree and Beatrice sat against her. Ava’s arm were wrapped around her waist and she could feel her soft breath against her neck.   
It felt so normal, Beatrice almost forgot for a second the pain in her chest, the spasming muscles that wouldn’t let up.

“I can’t breathe”. She admitted, speaking so quietly Ava might have missed it had she not been so close. 

“Like asthma attack can’t breathe? Like mouth to mouth needed?” Ava’s tone took on a teasing tone, and Beatrice chuckled for a moment, than wrapped Ava’s arms more tightly around her.

“No, not like that”. She didn’t continue and Ava waited, wondering how to continue. 

“Is it because of what we did now? Do…” she swallowed. “Do you regret it?”

“No” Beatrice turned in her arms, looking in her eyes. “Absolutely no, to that question.” She placed a kiss on Ava’s cheek and turned back. Ava laid her head against hers and decided to wait, thinking that if Beatrice will want to share, she will. 

“I just have this ache; I can’t let go of.” Beatrice was frustrated, and was surprised to feel tears in her eyes again. “I’m so happy right now, with you, I am. But this… tension, this pain”.

“And it’s not because of an injury? Like, a punch or a hit to your chest?” Ava clarified.

“No.” Beatrice sighed. “It’s nothing like that”.

“Do you remember ever feeling this before?” Ava questioned further. “Try to remember, maybe if this happened before it’ll help you understand why you’re feeling like this again now.

“It’s not” Beatrice whispered after a couple of moments. “I do remember when I felt like this before”.

Ava kissed her neck softly, whispering. “Tell Me”.

Beatrice took a big breath, opened her mouth and closed it again. She waited a moment and tried again. 

“When my parents told me I’m being sent away to St. Galen.” She spoke so softly, Ava thought her voice sounded to Ava like somebody walking on broken glass, trying to put as little weight as possible into their body. 

“I…” she licked her lips, trying to come up with something really smart and sensitive to say. “You didn’t want to go, did you?” _Silva you idiot, of course she didn’t want to go_. “Damn, that was a stupid question. Don’t answer.”   
Ava felt so ill equipped to deal with this. She wanted to support Beatrice so bad, the same way Beatrice was always on point, calming her down and focusing her with just a word or a sentence. There was only so much she could have learned from watching tv, and neither of the nuns was big on soul to soul talks. 

“Your parents are shitheads Beatrice. There’s not even a question there. How could they have missed out on how extraordinary you were? Are?”

Beatrice shrugged. “They did what they thought was right, even if it was cruel. I did get a lot from it, and I forgave them for it. You can’t ask a person to change their upbringing and character just like that”.

“That’s bullshit Beatrice, you know it is. And how could you forgive them? What they did to you was awful. How can parents do that to their child? Just abandon her like this?” Even though she spoke passionately, Ava’s voice quivered, and Beatrice felt her body heating up around her.

“Hey,” she turned again, putting one hand against Ava’s face. “Not all parents are perfect. Neither one of us is”. She searched Ava’s eyes. 

“Did you forgive your mother for leaving you?” 

Ava laughed bitterly. “What kind of a question is that? She didn’t leave me, she didn’t have a choice Beatrice, she died.”

“But did you forgive her?” Beatrice insisted, gently.

“I….” Ava thought about it. “I guess yes? I mean, I don’t know. At first I was sure it was a mistake, kept waiting for her to come back, someone. But it was so pointless, and I guess… I know she would have come if she could. So I guess… yes”.  
Beatrice nodded.

“But she was dead Beatrice. She was killed. Your parents, they had a choice”.

Beatrice was quiet, pensive. She turned back again, leaning against Ava.

“We trust our parents to be a constant in our lives.” She finally said, sounding once again like sister Beatrice, the wise and focused warrior of the cruciform sword order. “We trust them to give us guidance, emotional support. Love. But parents are just human. Mortal. And as such, we do them a disservice by putting them in such a pedestal. And my parents were very limited in their ability to love.”

She stopped.

“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” she quoted. “God forgives us, how can we not forgive all?” 

“I fucking don’t forgive Vincent for what he did”. Ava declared vehemently. As she said it, she felt Beatrice physically recoil, and it was like a lightbulb going in her head.

“And you don’t either, do you? That’s what this is. That son of a bitch did to you what your parents did, he tore you away from what you knew and…” she didn’t complete her sentence as Beatrice leaped to her feet. Wing, curled up to their side, stood up as well, alert.

“We should go back, before they come looking for us.” Beatrice’s face was closed, shut off from Ava.

“okaaaay…” Ava was confused, but realized it must have been one hell of a landmine she just stepped on. Jumped on with all her weight, more accurately. 

She looked up at Beatrice, at her sealed face, and reached out with her arm.  
“Help me up?” 

Without changing her expression Beatrice reached down and pulled her up. Ava used the momentum and didn’t stop her movement till she almost fell onto Beatrice, finding herself wrapped in her arms.

“Still not controlling all of my motor skills, you know.” Tongue-in-cheek, she wrapped her arms around Beatrice’s neck, bringing her closer still.

“Oh really?” Beatrice look and tone made it very clear she wasn’t buying into it. But she was smiling, and the soft look came back into her eyes.

“Absolutely.” Ava nodded, rubbing her nose lightly against Beatrice’s. “Remember, I was a corpse just a couple of days ago.” The smile was gone, and the soft look was replaced with a pain filled one. _oh my god what is it with me_ Ava berated herself again. But Beatrice kissed her, softly. Once, Twice.

“how can I not forgive my parents, when it was their actions that help set me on the path that brought me to you?”

Ava melted. And for once, was smart enough to shut her mouth and not say anything. She nodded, and followed Beatrice as she turned to walk back to the house.

*****  
When they returned the house, Wing ran ahead of them, alerting the residents to their return. Camilla had joined Lilith and Sister Antonia and all 3 were in the garden in front of the house, pulling weeds out. Mary was sitting on the stairs, and although they couldn’t make up the words, they could hear a lively conversation going on.

As they approached Mary noticed them first, followed by the 3 sisters working in the garden who were busy shooing away Wing that jumped straight into the pile of weeks to the side.

“Call off the search party.” Mary dryly commented, taking a sip of a bottle next to her. 

“Ah, we weren’t gone that long,” Ava waved her hand dismissingly, and sat down next to Mary on the stairs. “Whatcha got there?” she reached to the bottle, sniffed and took a big gulp of the water she found inside.

Camilla looked up at Beatrice, smiling. “Do you feel better Beatrice?” She handed her own bottle to Beatrice who took it gratefully, with a big gulp of her own. 

“I think I do, thank you Camilla.” The younger nun beamed at her and then turned her attention back to the garden around her. “This is wonderful,” she sighed. “I wonder if I’ll ever tend to the garden at Cat’s Cradle again”. Her fingers twiddled with a small plant, gently cradling it’s top.

“We may yet Camilla,” Lilith answered, looking fondly at the nun who came to mean so much to her. “We may yet. We don’t know what is happening there, come to think of it”.

“I couldn’t find anything in the news,” Camilla supplied, “But I was also very careful in my search, I didn’t want anyone to be able to cross reference my queries.”

Sister Antonia nodded, agreeing.

“I should like to believe that Mother Superion would have found a way to alert me had the cradle been compromised.”

“Whatever happened to her?” May wondered out loud. 

“She went up to confront Duretti while Ava was still in the tomb, but I didn’t see her after that.” 

“Do you think…” Ava said quietly, “Maybe Adriel possessed her too?”

All the women were quiet, none wanting to think of their strong leader being dealt such a cruel card.

“I’ve known Sister Angela for many, many years. I cannot imagine any wraith demon being suicidal enough to try and posses her” Sister Antonia said, her quick thinking bringing about a round of chuckles and, as expected, calls of “You know Mother Superion?!”

Antonia laughed. “I do, for many years. We sister warriors in the same convent together” She stood up and cleaned her trousers. “Let me bring out some cold refreshments and something for us to nibble on and I’ll tell you all I can”.

“Holy shit” Ava smiles broadly. “I can’t wait to hear about that!”

Beatrice smiled her patented patient smile. “I think I’ll go in quickly to wash up”. As she walked past Ava she touched her face gently with her knuckles, without stopping, and then disappeared through the door.

Ava’s look of wonder followed her, her entire body basking in the feeling of that light touch. When she turned her look back, she was met with 3 sets of raised eyebrows and quirky smiles.   
Ava tried to give her most innocent look back, and all four just stared at each other, waiting for one of them to acknowledge what just happened.

“So…” Camilla finally broke the silence. “I guess you’re not running away from Beatrice any more?”

Ava scrunched her face, desperately trying to come up with an answer that won’t embarrass Beatrice. Mary chuckled and hit Ava’s shoulder, winking at her. Lilith tilted her head, deep in thought.

“You okay there Lilith?” Ava asked, not sure how to read into Lilith’s reaction. Was she upset?

“Yes, of course Ava. I’m just surprised. But I think it’s good” she added. She wasn’t smiling, only looking intently in Ava’s eyes. “Beatrice was the first to accept you as the halo bearer, you know. For her there was no question you were chosen”. 

“oh” Ava nodded, not sure what to answer to that. 

“Stop being all dramatic Lilith” Camilla shoved her friend playfully. 

Antonia and Beatrice came back out at that moment, each carrying a tray with food and two bottles. It was all set down on a small table to the side and Ava and Camilla rushed in to fetch a couple of chairs for all to sit down. 

After they settled, all eyes were on Sister Antonia, who quickly swallowed a slice of cheese, realizing she was keeping them in suspense. 

“So I told you before that back in the days of Areala, she asked two of her sister warriors to come up with a hiding place that will only be known to them. As far as we know, it was never even shared with Areala, and she never explained why she asked for it. But now we know why…” she stopped, all women once again feeling the weight of the harsh truth realized.

“Anyway…” Antonia snapped out of the dark thoughts they all started sinking into. “Over the years, over the centuries, the secret of the OCS sanctuary remained with just 2 and 2. The mother Superion in position and her replacement, and of course the sister warrior entrusted with maintaining the house and her replacement.”

“But how does it work technically?” Mary wondered out loud. “You just get pulled out of the ranks of the order and sent to live on your own till you die?”

“Not as easy” Antonia smiled. “We all, well, almost all” she added, smiling at Mary and then Ava; “take vows. We dedicate ourselves to the cause. Mother Superion needs to pick the right warrior. Somebody who will dedicate her life in a completely different way, and perhaps never be called to duty. So many of my predecessors put down their swords and lived a life completely removed of the order they were so willing to dedicate their lives to. Away from their sisters, and to be honest, with absolutely no connection to that life” she paused, taking a sip of water. “It was imperative that no one is able to trace this house, me. The preparation to take over this role is years in making”.

The women were all quiet. “Sacrifices are made in many forms and ways my sisters” Antonia smiled at them. “I don’t regret it. Like I told you, I only regret that it is necessary to use this sanctuary… and even more so the circumstances under which we’re all been called to duty”. 

“Was it ever used in the past?” Camilla asked, quiet and curios.

“Actually yes, once. As you know Areala joined the crusades in 1095. But I believe you all know what happened in 1307, and it was imperative to hide the warrior nun before she and the sister warriors were overwhelmed and gone”.

Sounds of “Aah” rose around, but Mary and Ava changed looks, neither wants to be the first to admit they didn’t have a clue. 

“Friday the 13th, when Pope Clement V ordered the arrest and later execution of the knights Templar”. Beatrice noticed their looks and clarified. 

“oh!” Ava jumped. “Like the DaVinci code?”

“Do you really only know things from movies, seriously Ava” Lilith hissed. 

“Hey, no school education here you know, sue me. At least I know something” Ava defended herself. 

“You know a lot of things Ava, don’t listen to Lilith. She’s just jealous because she was never allowed to watch proper movies” Camilla winked at Ava and hit Lilith gently with her shoulders.

“Yeah yeah…” Lilith shoved back playfully, breaking the brief tense moment.

“Okay, and how do you know Mother Superion?” Ava asked, and all of them leaned forward, excited to hear something that would almost pass as gossip in their world.

“Well we were in the same convert, obviously. She was to be the next halo bearer, and I was one of the warrior nuns who worked in the same team as her and sister Raphaela, the warrior nun we protected and served.” 

Ava’s eyes lit up upon hearing the word ‘served’, but Mary quickly smacked her head lightly, commenting “We are not serving you, so get that out of your head”.

“She said it, not me” Ava huffed, but put a bit of more of a distance from Mary, just to be on the safe side.

“When we lost sister Raphaela, and the halo rejected Angela, to our great shock, I should add, there were quick decisions to be made. Mother Superion, our mother Superion” she added; “must have seen the opportunity. As Sister Angela was recovering physically, she approached me in confidence and asked me to take this position. I refused at first, not wanting to abandon my sister in her hour of need, but eventually I understood it is a calling greater than remaining in the order. I was told that once recovered, Sister Angela will most likely be prepared to take on duties of the abbess and grooming of the new warrior nuns. For several weeks after that I put on a show, of growing tire and desulte with our order, refusing to cooperate with the new warrior nun, throwing tantrums and eventually was thrown out of the abbey in front of all sisters and Father Samuel, excommunicated by the church and that was it.” 

Sister Antonia stopped, took a big breath and continued. “I only heard from the church after that twice. Once when it was time to take over this position, and the second time when the halo chose Ava.. well actually,” she paused, thinking “three times, since you all showing up definitely counts as the order calling in!” she laughed, breaking the tension of the moment.

“Wow, every time I think this story couldn’t get any more mysterious, it does” Ava added, popping a grape into her mouth. 

“Totally…” Camilla added, nodding gravely. 

“So now what?” Ava asked, and it seemed that somehow they always came back to this question.

“This is like Friday the 13th, we’ve been betrayed by the church again, and we need to somehow forge our path again” Lilith answered, face hardening.

“And we need to fight this devil, and we need to understand why and how Father Vincent…” Camilla started saying but was stopped by Mary’s fist hitting the table, hard. “I think we can just say Vincent at this stage, don’t you? nothing paternal about him murdering Shannon and leading us to our deaths.”

“Not quite” Beatrice agreed, face drawn.

“ok, so we need to understand Vincent’s part in this” Camilla repeated the sentence, his name feeling foreign coming out like that. 

“I will kill him with my bare hands” Mary whispered, rage coloring her words. “I will kill him, than find out everything he knows, and kill him again just to see him suffering”.  
Ava made a face, slapping Mary’s head in a similar way to how she was slapped earlier. Mary looked shocked, her mouth actually opening up as she stared at Ava.

“Yeah okay Liam Neeson, calm down. Vincent is just a pawn, we’ll take care of him. But what we really need to do is take care of Adriel, and don’t hit me again” she warned Mary. “I’ll just phase through, and you’ll lose your balance and injure your shoulder again and we’ll be stuck with an every grumpier version of you.” 

“What the….” Lilith blurted, absolutely flabbergasted at Ava’s unexpected smiling rebuke of Mary. Camilla was too surprised to speak at first, but then she turned to Beatrice.

“What did you do to her?”

Beatrice, herself quite stunned at Ava’s cheeky response, just shrugged her shoulders and smiled. 

“So ANYWAY” Ava intoned, circling everyone back to the topic at hand. “Today we rest, and tomorrow, tomorrow….”

“Tomorrow we turn the page, and the mission resumes” Mary answered, her voice strong, leaving no room for argument.

Beatrice stood up, turning her back to the group. She closed her eyes, and then opened them, refocused, putting aside the nun. It was time for the warrior to speak. She then turned back to her sisters, to Ava, face hard.

“To me belongeth vengeance, and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time”. The sisters looked at each other, faces awash with apprehension at this display of rage from the one who was always their cornerstone, the calm in the midst of storm.  
Beatrice continued, her tone picking up volume and strength. “For the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste”. 

Ava looked at Mary and Antonia, and then back at Camilla who gazed back at her with a worried expression. This speech felt odd, like it was part of a scene in Lord of the Rings. That just didn’t sound like Beatrice, and it didn’t feel right. That’s not how she’s known her, them, to be. But times have changed, obviously. The same thought from the night before flashed in her mind. _Was_ Beatrice losing her shit? Did Vincent’s betrayal break something in her? How the fuck do you even approach someone to ask something like that?

Ava has learned to trust her gut feeling in the last couple of days. And her gut was telling her that Beatrice was going all wrong. She just didn’t know how to even start fixing it.


	5. With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here's the last chapter. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you enjoyed this long journey my mind took me on.

When she considered it, Ava knew all the movies and tv shows she was allowed to watch (or not allowed but sneakily was able to watch) didn’t really provide her a vast background to deal with everything that was thrown at her over the last week.

She went from being just a child, thinking her mom was the greatest person she will ever know, to being abandoned by all in an orphanage, to dying, to being miraculously revived by a halo she now didn’t know if was an instrument of Satan or god’s gift to her, to falling in love – or lust – for the first time in her life, and now being part of this ancient convent of warrior nuns that should really be part of a Quentin Tarantino movie, and…

And now to have this woman she wanted more than find a way to break the scary emotional shell she was covering herself with, and feeling like she had no tools at all to do it.

She excused herself after their short break, a bit too unnerved by Beatrice’s behavior to just stay with the group. She ended up going down to the hall below the house, laying down on one of the training mats and staring at the ceiling.

She laid there, just breathing in and out. In an odd way, there was something comforting about doing the one thing she did the most in her life, motionlessly just breathing, just occupying a space in the world.

She heard steps shuffling into the room, and was surprised that out of all the nuns, it was Sister Antonia who came down.

“Sorry” Ava set up. “Is it ok that I’m here?”

“Of course it is” Antonia assured her, sitting down next to her. “This is all for you, you know. Well, for you and the warrior sisters. You can do, touch, take whatever you’d like”.

“Cool, cool” same mechanical answer.

Antonia looked at her sideways and seemed to consider her words. “You know, it is very rare that the halo chooses her bearer”.

“Phhh, lady please” Ava huffed. “It was shoved into my body by someone who had no idea what they were doing. I’m hardly the best person around to do this”.

“Ava, everything happens for a reason, surely you know this by now”, Antonia scolded her gently.

“No, that’s not true” Ava argued back. “Because if it’s true, why did my mom die? I can accept everything, but why did she have to die? Why did I have to go through that hell in the orphanage with sister psycho. Just to carry this..” she waved at her back. “halo. And now look what’s happening. We’re all broken apart, Beatrice is going ape shit crazy and I have no idea what to do!” her voice raised as she spoke, and she ended up just hitting the mattress in frustration.

Antonia didn’t answer, waiting for Ava to finish.

“She’s so angry” Ava whispered. “I don’t know how to get her out of it”.

“You know, when Sister Angela was rejected by the halo, which”, she emphasized, one finger tapping the mattress to make the point, “just goes to show you that there’s no randomness and there is a force dictating the halo’s carrier, she was broken. Physically she recovered, the damage to her back was superficial”.

“I’ve seen the scars” Ava said, quietly, remembering the more the black material aside to see the exposed skin on Mother Superion’s back.

“Oh really?” Antonia seemed surprised. “Well, anyway, she was so distraught, and it wasn’t clear at first where this will go. And she was angry, very angry. But eventually we realized that anger is a very easy emotion to feel. It’s a gut reaction, and a fire that fuels itself quite easily”.

Ava listened intently. Antonia continued.

“Anger can be a primary emotion. You can be angry over something. But more often than not, I believe anger is a secondary emotion. It’s easier to use it as a shield to cover the real, raw feeling underneath. The one that might be too painful or too scary to admit to”.

“Like when I had to face my fears to go through the wall” Ava realized.

Antonia seemed puzzled, but shrug her shoulders. “I’ve no idea what you mean, but maybe, yes.”

“I don’t know Beatrice, and I don’t know you either, except that if you were chosen, that tells me you have depths in you that you have not realized yet. And as for Beatrice, her devotion to you is as palpable as the sun outside. And that devotion may have taken her down a path that she is probably best not taking, but it is her decision if she will stay on or not”.

Ava hung her head, still unsure of what to do.

“And I want to tell you one more thing Ava, that you may or may not accept, and may be hard to hear, but you should hear it.” She turned fully towards Ava, straightening up.

“As believers, nuns, we accept that everything is dictated from above. Yes, we do have free will but we are only simple humans, and we can only follow the examples set for us for the powers around us, by our fathers and mothers, sisters, by stories and tales we read.

We believe God sacrificed his own son so that he may save us, show us the path to salvation. So if this is the sacrifice you are brought up to believe in, any other sacrifice pales in comparison. If God chose you to save the world, than perhaps this is why you had to lose your mother. And your empathy, your kindness to weak ones, your unreserved emotional dedication – they all stemmed from it.”

Ava shook her head, still refusing to accept that. But deep down inside, with everything that went on, she had to admit there was something comforting about it.

Antonia smiled at her, got up and turned to leave. She then stopped and turned again to Ava.

“Have you ever watched the movie Pollyana?”

“Sure, the classic one with Hayley Mills, why?” That was just about the last question Ava expected.

“She talks about the amount of verses listed in the bible that talk about joy. But what she never says, is that there are close to 300 verses just talking about love. We are told constantly, in almost every chapter, every prophet, every scroll, that love is stronger than all, and love will save us all.”

“You mean romantic love?” Ava blushed a little, but asked still.

“Any love” Antonia smiled. “It is a higher emotion of all. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it Ava. Have faith in your feelings, have faith in your sisters, and love them. God will show you the way to lead them on from here, all of them.”

Just before she left the room, Ava called out to her.

“Is there, well, it might be a stupid question. But, is there a bible here?” At Antonia’s raised eyebrows, Ava shrugged. “Desperate times call for desperate measures and all that. Maybe I should read about love directly from the source”.

Antonia nodded, seeming satisfied with Ava’s request. She walked into one of the adjoining rooms and came back with a small book. She handed it to Ava.

“Start with Psalms” she advised. “It always brings me joy, and it is a love song between god and man”.

Ava looked at the small, thick book, scrolled to the start of that scroll and started reading.

*****  
Beatrice decided to dedicate time not to training, but needed to move her body. She went to the back of the house, where the wide fields stretched ahead and around here, and started slowly doing a fluid Kata, looking to find peace in the elaborate choreography. As she didn’t have neither a sword nor her staff with her, she decided to focus on her barehand technique.

Her movements were slow, focused. Each step, lift and twist done with extra care. Practicing this form of fighting would always bring calm to whatever storm her mind was in, but this time, no matter how much she tried, something snapped her focus back.

She restarted, but again lost her focus after a couple of movements. She felt like a musical track that kept bouncing, not able to maintain a flow.

As she lifted her hands once again to start a shift in movement, she noticed her hands were still shaking. Was it a concussion that affected her this way?

She simply stood, nothing but the sounds of nature and her the beating of her heart to keep her company.

Beatrice couldn’t shake the feeling of misalignment she constantly felt. Since yesterday, the world have moved forward but she felt it was just off kilter, like a drawer that went off its’ rails, but still opened and closed with ruckus and bangs.

The desire for vengeance she was feeling, it was an unknown feeling to her. Like copper, bitter taste in her mouth.

Beatrice had always found comfort in prayer. It would seem the right one always found its way to her heart, guiding her and showing her the path to clarity and righteousness. She knew, it was an ideal to stive for. As she herself told Ava just hours ago, they were all mere mortals, and no one living was righteousness before God. She whole heartedly believed there were those who were on a higher spiritual scale, but had accepted that with the death and destruction she brought upon the world, she had given up any chance of climbing up that scale.

God, she knew, was loving and forgiving, but held his disciples to the sword.

Moses, who was refused entry to the promised land.

David, who was denied the right to build the first temple.

Areala… Joan of Arc…

And what of poor sister Beatrice? What is to become of her? She felt so alone, without the comforting presence of the holy spirit. The ancient words of Christ taunting her. Has she indeed been forsaken?

With an anguish cry, she fell on her knees, face cradled in her palms. What was becoming of her?

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help” she mumbled, the words rushing out of her mouth, hasting up to the heavens.

“My help cometh from the LORD, who hath made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: and he that keepeth thee will not sleep. Behold, he that keepeth Israel: shall neither slumber nor sleep.” She took a big gulp of air, eyes scrunched tightly. Was this what David had felt, hiding in the cave from Saul? He knew he was following God’s command, and yet, he had to hide like a common thief. And Jesus on the cross, he too felt abandoned despite being God’s beloved son. What help does she deserve, she who cowers in the shadow of such giants, such advocates of the Lord?

And Sister Beatrice, of the cruciform sword order, prayed.

“The Lord himself is thy keeper: the Lord is thy defence upon thy right hand; So that the sun shall not burn thee by day: neither the moon by night. The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: yea, it is even he that shall keep thy soul.  
The Lord shall preserve thy going out, and thy coming in: from this time forth for evermore”.  
She restarted, hanging on to the words.

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help… from whence cometh my help…”  
She didn’t know how long she stayed like that, the same prayer repeating, from the depths of her humble soul.

A branch broke behind her.

Steps approached, slowly, carefully. She opened her eyes and turned to see who it was approaching. She noticed dusk has started to settle, the sun turning low, still shining brightly in her eyes. Its’ beams were in the back of the person approaching, turning them into a silhouette. She squinted her eyes, the light too strong.

“Beatrice?” Ava’s hesitant voice reached her ears. Two steps more and her worried face was visible.

“Ava….” She breathed.

Ava stopped in front of Beatrice, worry etched clearly on her face. They were getting close to dinner, and Beatrice was no where to be seen. She herself had spent the majority of the afternoon reading, using a website Camilla showed her to understand some of the more complicated prose. Of course, Camilla was quite surprised herself to see what her the Halo bearer was up to, but helped her non the less (and then left up with a very puzzled expression on her face).

“We’re getting ready for dinner Beatrice, and we haven’t seen you since lunch.” Beatrice just stared at her, blinking slowly.

“Will you come to wash up with me before we eat?” Ava reached out with her hand, and Beatrice wordlessly took it.

When they walked in, the sisters working in the kitchen turned to look at them. They didn’t stop, Ava just shushing them with her hand.

When they reached the bathroom, she closed the door behind them. It was a bit eerie, the way Beatrice just looked at her, a quiet sort of comprehension on her face. She wasn’t crying, but there was a profound fatigue visible. And while Ava missed the proud warrior she has become so attached to, she was just as attached to the nun, but - and perhaps most of all, the young woman who so clearly needed her support.

“Do you want to shower together again?” Ava asked, quickly adding, “Nothing funny, I promise. Maybe a bad pun here and there or you know, something else that will probably pop in my mind because you kn…” she was hushed by Beatrice’s finger on her lips, stopping their movement.

Beatrice was smiling, shaking her head sideways, a fond look on her face. _okay, that’s a good thing_ Ava thought. And then stopped thinking entirely when Beatrice started undoing her shirt, nimble fingers going slowly from button to button.

Ava swallowed, and trying to maintain the most casual expression she could, pulled off her own shirt. She followed Beatrice movement, till they were standing naked in front of each other. It was the second time in as many days she got to see the beautiful nun in the nude, and unlike yesterday, this time there was, well she thought there was, less anguish and drama all around, and it made it… very challenging, to focus just on washing. _and no touching!_ she mentally scolded herself, taking two steps past Beatrice into the shower.

She was focusing on playing with the hot and cold water dials, trying to set up the perfect temperature for their second shower together, when she jumped out of her skin as two hands snuck around her waist, and followed up the heavenly feeling of a warm, well defined body attaching itself to her. She felt a head settling between her shoulder blades, but heard nothing but a sigh, almost lost in the sound of water pouring down from the shower head.

“Hey there…” Ava focused on the water, the hands around her, anything except the two mounts she felt being pressed against her back. “How ya doin’ Beatrice? Do you feel better?”

She took a small step forward, and another, until they were both under the warm current coming down on them. She then turned, feeling the arms around her loosening up a little but not letting go. She was pleased to see a small, crooked smile on Beatrice’s face, and wrapped her own arms around her neck, bringing their bodies together.

“I feel better when I’m with you,” Beatrice said softly, her nose gently touching Ava’s and going back.

“Me too, like, tons better.” Ava easily admitted. “Do you want to wash yourself or….”

Without moving her eyes away, Beatrice reached behind Ava and retrieved the soft washcloth hanging there.

“Let me wash you first, if that’s ok” she whispered.

“Sssure,” Ava gulped.

As Beatrice leathered up the washcloth and started gently moving it across Ava’s body, all she could think of was how aroused she was becoming, and how inappropriate it must be. But come on, she’s naked with pretty much a goddess, like a model from commercials she used to watch, how can she not react this way? Granted, her living and breathing model might be going through a mental breakdown, but that didn’t change the fact she was so… so attractive. Hot. Tempting…

“Are you still here Ava?” Beatrice teased her, then mercifully turned her around to wash her back. Ava thought that will surely give her the time she needed to collect herself…. Just to realize how wrong she was as she felt the soft cloth gliding down her back, circling around her buttocks and slowly reaching the apex of her legs. Subconsciously, she spread her legs.

“I’m here, totally,” she quickly breathed. She heard Beatrice chuckled and hugged her again, the soap on Ava’s back causing their bodies to glide even more smoothly against each other.

“I’m going to wash your legs now” Beatrice whispered in Ava’s ear, kissing the cheek underneath.

“Cool, cool,” Ava thought for a second and turned. “Beatrice, seriously. How’s it going? I feel like your mood is all over the place”.

Beatrice focused on washing Ava’s legs for a moment, and when finished she stood up, handing the cloth to Ava.

“Honestly Ava, I feel so out of it. My emotions are just rampaging, and I don’t how to reach serenity”. Ava hummed noncommittedly, adding soap to the cloth and starting her own slow movement across the body in front of her. A moment later Beatrice continued.

“I can usually put everything in place, but now, every time I close a drawer, it all comes flying out. All sense of order is gone and I… “ she stopped, continued. “I don’t know how we proceed from here”.

“I thought we’re going all John Wicks, you killed my dog revenge on Adriel and his little bitch Vincent?” Ava wasn’t sure if her blunt response was the right one. Beatrice didn’t answer, and Ava turned her around so she could wash her back.

“I read some things today,” Ava started again. “In the bible.”

“What?” Beatrice turned, incredulous, laughing. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, and turn around sister oh ye of little faith” Beatrice turned again, chuckling.

“Now don’t be a smartass and listen,” Ava really didn’t want to fuck this up. She read those passages over and over, trying to make sure she won’t forget them.

“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses” she started, testing the waters. Beatrice hummed, but said nothing.

Ava took a breath, her movements slow and deliberate. “Do not say, I will repay evil. Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you”. Silence.

“Refrain from anger, Beatrice, and forsake wrath” the usage of her name seemed to have snapped something in Beatrice. She turned, her eyes red. Ava palmed her face, and continued. “Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.”

“I thought the meek will inherit the Earth” Beatrice whispered, a thread of humor returning.

“I’m meek, so I’m quite happy to inherit whatever is handed down to me, as long as it’s not clothes. I’m so done with that.” Ava leaned forward and kissed Beatrice, softly.

“Can I share more with you?”

“Please.”

“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death” another kiss. “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it”, and another. The water washed them, and Beatrice felt it was baptism of sorts. She let Ava’s words cleanse her.

“Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.” She replied, initiating a kiss of her own. “You”, she emphasized, “make known to me the path of life”.

Their bodies were washed, and Beatrice felt her soul had been cleansed. This was her salvation. She will follow Ava, through hell and back if needed. This is what the Lord has sent forth, this is where her life has been leading her. And she won’t let darkness take over her soul, for this will mean she will miss the light, the oh so bright light Ava, her halo bearer, will surely bring into her life.

“Yo Ava!” she suddenly heard Mary’s voice blasting through the house. “Come down already, we’re hungry!”

“Oh shit,” Ava almost wordlessly cursed. She felt the moment with Beatrice was so pure, she just didn’t want it to end. Plus her block busters weren’t used yet. Lines that, when she read them, gave her a special thrill.

“We have time Ava, but Lilith may phase into this room and I would hate for her to have to deal with the awkwardness that’ll happen” Beatrice laughed, and turned off the water. She turned back and found herself wrapped again in Ava’s arms, and a warm mouth attacking her.

“Not yet” Ava breathed. “I just got you back, please. Just another moment.” And Beatrice could not deny her. She let Ava push her back against the wall, moaning as their bodies collided. Her hands grasped Ava’s strong buttocks, pushing her hard against herself, delighting in her cry of delight against her mouth.

“Oh my God, Beatrice” Ava sounded like she was on the verge of tears. “I didn’t know.. I didn’t” and she kissed Beatrice like a mad woman, and Beatrice recuperated in kind, feeling she just cannot get enough.

“AVA!!!” another shout from downstairs, closer now.

They pulled back from each other, chests heaving.

They made a quick work of drying up and headed back down. As they sat, Beatrice felt – just for a moment – like they were back in Cat’s Cradle, just days before the Earth turned under their feet. Laughing together, teasing each other over silly, silly things. Ava’s absolutely vulgar eating, Camilla tearing into her food but in a significantly more polite way. Lilith scowling at Ava but it was clear to see there was so much care in that look. And Mary, who just gave her an understanding look, squeezing her shoulder and back to eating.

After dinner they all settled down in the living room, just chatting away about everything and anything, just reviving each other’s spirits.

Beatrice sat on a sole couch, with Ava seated on the carpet between her legs, her head leaning up against one thigh. Beatrice absentmindedly played with her hair, while keeping up the conversation around. No one needed to mention anything about their obvious intimacy, and Beatrice was grateful for it. She did not shy from it, not after the oath she took to protect Ava, but her feelings about everything felt incredibly raw and she wanted to shelter her emotions just a little longer.

The door to the house was open, with winds softly blowing inside, bringing in the smell of the fields, an owl scream. When they all quieted down and just enjoyed each other company, alleviated by the strong bond of the order.

“Would you mind if I played some music?” Antonia stood up and after the mumbled agreement, went to a CD player across the room. She thought for a second, eventually choosing one.

“I’ve heard this singer preforming at the Vatican once, just before I left the order” she explained. “Some of her songs are magnificent, and I find them very relatable.

As the music started, a serene but aching voice filled the room. A foreign language wrapped around them, and even though they couldn’t understand the words, something in the tone touched them.

“What is she singing about?” Camilla asked, charmed.

“The song is called ‘Tre Giorni’,” Antonia explained. “I think when she was invited to sing it, they thought it was about the _Triduum Sacrum_ but after I read about it, turns out it’s just a love song, the 3 days in which she is wandering the desert, pounding on walls and searching for her love, until she is found and let in”.

“Beautiful” Camilla whispered.

Ava reached up without looking, taking a hold of Beatrice’s arm. She brought it down, kissing her open palm and then placed the back of the hand against her cheek, breathing in deeply.

The song switched into a modern rendition of ‘Ave Marie’, and if ever there was a song the devote sisters felt to the core, it must have been that.

_“Ave Maria  
Where have you been hiding?  
Don’t you know we need you?  
Things are looking pretty bad down here…”_

Lilith curled up closer to Camilla, and even Mary, sitting to Camilla’s left, shuffled a bit closer. Antonia closed her eyes, nodding slowly with the music.

Beatrice leaned forward, leaning her cheek on the top of her head, her other arms sneaking around Ava’s chest, bringing her in even closer. Ava herself enjoyed the music, but realized that her sisters must have found a deeper meaning than she could relate to. She thought back to that evening at the party with JC, the strong bass pumping and how all she could think about was getting him to notice her. She never would have thought mere days later she’d find herself somewhere in rural Italy, listening to kind of religious music, with the most amazing person she’s ever met in her life wrapped around her. Although, to be honest, she kind of wanted end up in the same place with Beatrice as she did with JC… but it was on a completely different emotional plane. Mary was right, she had a crush on JC, he filled something instant, but this, her, Beatrice, that was something else entirely.

She truly believed they were meant to be like this.

A soft guitar and violin combination, along with drumming, was playing.

_“Give me your pain  
give me your sorrow  
give me your loneliness  
and broken dreams  
your bad times  
and your worry  
now forget  
now forget….”_

Ava turned, looking straight at Beatrice. With one arms still wrapped around her, she took the other which she held against her face, in both her palms. She closed her fingers around it and brought the fingers up to her lips, gently kissing each digit, her look not wavering. Beatrice could only stare back, the words and Ava’s penetrating look washing over her.

_“Give me your past  
give me your family  
give me the walls you build  
and the ones you break  
your shadows  
and your longing  
now forget.  
now forget…”_

Beatrice leaned over, her forehead touching Ava’s lightly. She needed to be closer to her. The words washed over her spirit, perhaps another message from god, wrapping the last two days and preparing her to let go.

_“I’ll put it all  
in a small wooden box  
with the rusty old lock  
and the sparrows in flight  
ill guard it with my life  
through the long long night…”_

They were with their eyes closed now, breathing against each other. Where Beatrice thought there will be chaos, she found peace, serenity, purpose. She accepted it all, Ava’s desire to take on her sins, to guide her through the turmoil that surely awaits them.

_“you are my eyes  
you are my passion  
you are my journey to where I’ve been  
you are my reason  
for living  
now forget  
now forget…..”_

The music continued on, but they were both obvious to it, to the room around them.

“ _You_ are my passion” Ava whispered. She opened her eyes now, and Beatrice melted at those big brown orbs, who somehow, despite everything he had lived – died – and live again through, still had so much innocence in them.

Mary cleared her throat, and Beatrice snapped out of the haze she was in to see a myriad of amused faces and a red, but pleased, look on Camilla’s.

“I think we will call it a night,” Beatrice mumbled, pulling herself up and out of the couch, her face burning.

“Ah ha…” Mary hummed, clearly amused. “Yes, I think you will”.

Even though she wanted to flee the room, Beatrice turned to Sister Antonia, who looked as amused as Mary. “Thank you, sister, for dinner and for your gracious hospitality. I feel this hasn’t been said enough”.

“Nonsense,” she waived dismissingly in the air. “It is an honor and a pleasure. Rest well, Sister Beatrice”.

*****  
Ava held her hand all the way to the room, and when the door was shut behind them she leaned on it, hands behind her body, just staring at Beatrice.

“What?” Beatrice whispered, slowly approaching.

“I want to do something, but I don’t want you to think I’m crazy”. Beatrice lifted one eyebrow. “Like, more crazy than I already am”.

“You’re not crazy Ava,” Beatrice laughed. “Dorky, quirky, but your mental fortitude is by far stronger than mine.”

“yeah okay, but, just flow with me here, okay?” Ava seemed almost jittery, in complete contrast to how mellow and quiet she was just a minute ago.

“I’m listening…”

“Okay so I wrote down, well, I marked things I read that I wanted to share with you, can we hold off on…” Ava stopped, not sure what name to give _it yet. “On whatever is going to happen, or not, which is also fine, till I share it with you?”_

“of course Ava, of course.” Beatrice assured her, then stopped. “Can I kiss you though? Just before we start our bible study group?”

“It’s not a group and it’s not…” Beatrice’s lips pressing on hers stopped her rambling. She enthusiastically returned the kiss, delighted when she realized it was not their lips, but their tongues caressing each other as well. A strong, well defined curl started in her bellow and migrated lower, setting between her feet. Oh boy.

“Okaaayyy….” She moved her head sideways, kissing the white, elegant neck just below those tantalizing lips. “Can we move to the bed? If it’s ok?”

Beatrice nodded, and then ended up at the top of the bed, Ava leaning her back against the strong wood and Beatrice sitting between her legs, leaning up against her. It was almost identical to the position they were in earlier that day.

Ava closed her eyes for a moment, concentrating.

“There is not fear in love, but perfect love casts our fear” and kiss to Beatrice’s cheek.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong doing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” with each pause between sentences, another kiss was placed, further up, down to the strong shoulder, the other side.

“Beloved” she whispered, seeing and feeling the shivering skin beneath. “let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” Ava’s hands, who were still and unmoving wrapped around Beatrice, now untangled and and, without thinking about it, pulled Beatrice’s shirt up and over her head. Just before she leaned back up against her, Ava pulled her own shirt off. They were again skin on skin, back to front.

“Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love” Ava continued her quote, her hands now slowly moving up, until eventually cupping the breasts above.

“Oh Ava” Beatrice moaned, her hands covering Ava’s.

“As a lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters” she squeezed gently, Beatrice arching against her. She then turned, eyes on fire.

“A lovely deer, a graceful doe” Her voice answered, hands covering Ava’s breasts, circling, caressing. “Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love”

“You always have to be so much better than me” Ava half heatedly complained. Beatrice leaned over and kissed her, a slow languid kiss.

“Not at all, Just a little head start on you with my studies, but you’re such a quick study Ava” she praised her, and Ava shivered. “I’m sure you’ll catch up in no time.”

Beatrice ran her tongue in circles across Ava’s neck, biting, suckling. Ava’s hands were on the back of her head, pushing her against the skin. It was a hedonistic feeling she had not known before, had never felt, but oh, God, she was ready to anoint herself with it.

Ava gently shoved her back, and slid down the bed, quickly pulling Beatrice back on top of her… and surprising her by rolling over, careful so they don’t fly off the bed.

As she was sitting on top of her, Beatrice’s hands were free once again to roam, and she wasted no time in pulling herself back up so that her face was no level with Ava’s chest.

“How beautiful and pleasant you are, Oh loved one, with all your delights” Ava’s hands wrapped around the back of her neck, and she arched again grounding herself into Beatrice, mouth slightly open, eyes closed.

“Look at me, Ava” Beatrice asked softly. Ava opened her eyes, her eyes dark with desire.

“Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine” she whispered, her hands covering them once again. “Your mouth like the best wine. It goes down smoothly for my beloved, gliding over lips and teeth” They were both shaking now, and Ava suddenly understood why the pen is mightier than the swords. She was all hers.

Slowly, without taking her eyes off of Ava, Beatrice slid one hand, lower, to the top of the pants Ava wore, then slipping under the elastic band of the pants, and that of her panties underneath. She could feel the heat, and the undeniable wetness.

Ava pelvis was now still, and just the sound of their breaths mixing in the air. And when she couldn’t hold it anymore, Beatrice let go, her fingers sliding into a well of thick desire awaiting her.

Her mouth was against Ava’s, breathing hard, and she used one last line, as Ava trembled at her touch, whispering,  
“I am my beloved's, and her desire is for me….”

And Over that night, and the morning light that followed, bringing the third day upon them, Sister Beatrice, Warrior nun of the order of the Cruciform Sword, was reborn and anointed, for she was briefly was darkness, but thanks to Ava she arose, shone, for her light has come, as the glory of the Lord has risen upon her.

Let there be light… and there was _light._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language, so writing is a bit of a struggle (putting ideas and throughs in a foreign language into English is harder than it might seem!). I'm also really impatient so will probably publish without going over the text more than once or twice... so apologies for any mistake there.
> 
> To be honest, I wasn't sure if I wanted to finish it, but this turned into quite a journey into Christian scholarship, I guess. I studied the bible for many years, so it was kind of a fun exercise to go back and review some of the Biblical texts.  
> I think in whatever fan fiction I read till now, there is always a reference to the warrior sisters as warriors first, and nuns later, and especially in any avatrice fiction, the 'vows' are always referenced to only in relation to, well, sex.  
> In my mind, I'm thinking that they are nuns first, ie, true believers, and this capsules their entire being. So I think their faith, and specifically, Beatrice's faith and justification/solace she finds in the texts and interpretations she gives them, is a very central thing to her being. 
> 
> Lastly, I'm referring to 3 songs in this last chapter, so if you want to listen to them:  
> 1\. Noa - Three Days https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge8hEoqGgmE  
> 2\. Noa - Ave Maria https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldjGrEx-PhE  
> 3\. Noa - Now forget https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RzhbqVsyc0

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so writing is a bit of a struggle (putting ideas and throughs in a foreign language into English is harder than it might seem!). I'm also really impatient so will probably publish without going over the text more than once or twice... so apologies for any mistake there.
> 
> I had a vague idea of what I wanted to write, and so far my mind is taking it in a completely different directions. So I guess we'll find out together how this turns out!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this, and thank you for any who leaves a comment/kudos - we live for feedback!


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